The Yankees are now mimicking the Red Sox — Evil Empire II — by developing young talent with frightening efficiency. [rosenthal]

Labels: stfu

um

did jose tabata quit baseball or get abducted by aliens or something?

Labels: baby bombers

qotd pt 2

and i'm late to the fun party as always:

"Just make sure you bring a higher level of literacy to go with your decimal points." - bill conlin to bill crashburnalley

Labels: quote of, things that are funny

qotd

"Um, I'm hardly A-Rod's biggest fan, but does ******* ever get laid? Seriously? I actually really love his blog, but I swear to god he has no sex, ever. He's so vehement and moral arbitery about everything. Like me, but more more disingenuous... It's like Datalounge meets the straight guy's sports blog." - alex

Labels: quote of, things that are funny

i've noticed people coming here via a search for helen beller, so i searched it myself and came across this:

BELLER--Helen, on November 21, 2007 at her home on the Upper West Side after a long and remarkable 104 years. Daughter of the late Anna and Joseph Heidt. Loving wife of the late Samuel Beller. Predeceased by her loving daughter, Mary Linn Pitofsky. Known as "Nana" she was a devoted Yankee fan and a blessing to her family. [ny times]

helen beller, 'course, was this awesome centenarian (the following's from a profile from the daily news that doesn't seem to be available anymore):

The great-great-grandma from Manhattan's upper West Side has been rootin' for the Bronx Bombers all her life, which began in 1903, the same year the Yanks were born as the Highlanders.

Last night she saw her first game at the stadium in more than a half-century - a treat provided by her grandson.

But then Beller got an unexpected treat, thanks to Yankee General Manager Brian Cashman.

She got to meet her favorite player, Derek Jeter, and for a moment she seemed less like a 103-year-old woman and more like a starstruck young fan.

"You're so goddamned handsome," she blurted out to the All-Star shortstop, as they posed for a photo.

Jeter looked around for help, then simply replied, "Thank you."

For a second pose, Beller put her arm around the grinning Jeter and whispered, "No one deserves to be that good looking."

i can only hope i'm half so sassy at 43, nevermind 103. rest in peace, lady.

baby please come home

(photo from this awesome flickr photostream)

Labels: picspam, yanquis

just got this in my inbox and

thought i'd share with yall:

Happy Thanksgiving from PinstripesPlus.com.

Beginning today through Sunday, premium content is complimentary at PinstripesPlus.com.

This means you can check out all our past and current player feature stories, hot news,and the entire Scout Player Database, and there's absolutely no cost to you. You will have access to the entire site (with the exception of premium message boards, audio and video) as well as the entire Scout.com Network.

No credit card is required. Some areas may require you to register, but it's fast, easy, and costs you nothing!

Visit the following link to get started:

http://yankees.scout.com/?refid=7597

Thank you,
PinstripesPlus.com and Scout.com Staff

Labels: baby bombers, yanquis

quote of.....

august sometime? something i thought i'd forgotten.

person (who'd just started to launch into a story but stopped himself): "have you ever been in a clubhouse?"
lupe (dripping sarcasm as is my wont): "yeah, i've been in a
clubhouse."
june (laughing hysterically): "hey, of course i've been in
a clubhouse. i used to play. can't you tell?"
person (scrambling for his wallet, on the bar, etc): "OK,
where are my cyanide pills?"

eta one from amy, who, were she close enough, would probably go julio lugo on me as a way of showing her love: "If that gravy was Mariano Rivera, I was Bill Mueller all up in that shit."

Labels: quote of, yeah i bogged it

separated at birth?

(boris pasternak)


(my geographically undesirable pocket pet interest)


in other news i hear the third baseman is probably pretty sure he's coming back as are the guy that catches the ball, and the guy who throws the ball. so it's a pretty good day.

Labels: separated at birth, sox, yanquis

sorry guys

but clearly the wrong warren buffett related article is getting all the attention today. think of the ladies, mr. buffett:

Dear Mr. Buffett,
The women of America need you. Badly. Have you ever been in the changing room of the lingerie section at a major department store? O.K., don't answer that. But I've been there, and I'll tell you, it ain't pretty. There's desperation. There's misery, fatigue and wild-eyed panic. Every single day across this great nation of ours, women have to force themselves into cruelly lit cubicles with ill-closing curtains to try to find a bra that fits. But only a pitiful few do. Warren, must this agony go on?

Ever since you bought Fruit of the Loom and its plus-size offspring Vanity Fair back in 2002, extending your empire to the firmament of the foundation garment universe, I have been waiting patiently, hoping that you'll turn out to be a revolutionary of the order of Herminie Cadolle. About 120 years ago, Mme. Cadolle figured out that it made more sense for women's breasts to be suspended from above than cantilevered from beneath. That is, she invented bra straps. So instead of walking around wearing the lingerie equivalent of the London Bridge, women could slide themselves into a Golden Gate. This was a huge relief—as anyone who has worn a strapless bra can tell you—because the London Bridge pretty much always falls down.

Or you could be like Ida Rosenthal. She invented cup sizes back in the 1920s. Warners picked up her idea and decided that most women would fall somewhere between an A and a D. At the time it was a breakthrough. But Mr. Buffett, please, this is such old tech. Are you wearing 80-year-old underwear? Again, no need to answer. But how can it be that in the past eight decades we've gone from measuring by furlongs and pinches to microns and nanoseconds and gigabytes, but we're still sizing bras according to the first few letters of the alphabet? And I'm not discounting the seminal work of the Swiss anthropologist Rudolf Martin, who classified breasts into four types: flat, hemispheric, conical and goat-udder-shaped. It's just that, inexplicably, his nomenclature system failed to catch on.

The crazy thing is, we already have the technology. Only this year a bunch of Hong Kong researchers published a paper in the International Journal of Industrial Ergonomics—a publication that I imagine is on your bedside table right now—that used 3-D anthropometric measuring equipment to take a very close look at 456 young Chinese women's breasts. (I know, can you imagine writing the grant proposal for that?) Their conclusions make for some tough reading. They note that 70% of British women are wearing the wrong size bra, and that among bigger-breasted women the sizing is particularly inappropriate.

Instead of taking two measurements (under the bust and over the bust) to find a bra size, the Hong Kong researchers took 98. The key to building a better bra, they concluded, is to use a depth-width ratio rather than just volume to figure out the cup size. Warren, can you see what's happening here? Are you going to let Chinese women have better-fitting bras than we do? Where is your sense of patriotism? First it's superior bras, then it's superior weapons, and before long the fat lady in her too-snug undergarment has sung, and it's over.

As you know, W.B., bras carry a lot more freight than just the bosomy kind. When women stand in front of the mirror, they don't see a bra that doesn't fit. They see a woman who doesn't fit—whose cup runneth over, who is insufficiently endowed, who is goat-shaped.

About half the adult population wears bras. The other half strategizes about them. Building a better-fitting one is not just good for female self-esteem, it's good for business. And you are the guy to do it. Can't you see the ad campaigns? "The Buffett Bustier: because one size does not fit all." Or "Get yourself into a neBRAska. We've got room for everyone."

Warren, I beseech you, just spare one moment today to think about breasts. I know you can.

[belinda luscombe]

Labels: i don't even know, what it feels like for a girl

qotd pt 2

"He's like a manicured,movie-star/jock version of Michael Scott--he always says the wrong thing. He's not as funny, but he's often just as painful. And like Scott, he just wants to be loved. In a strange way, I find his A-Rodness endearing, even if it is annoying." - alex belth

Labels: quote of, team a-rod

oh and

last night's office? made of awesome.

Labels: things i watch that i love

qotd

"After all that, a modest raise and considerable security for Alex Rodriguez, along with another decade of remembering (whoops!) the stripper should take the service elevator." - gerard cstb

Labels: quote of, team a-rod

the new "i gave her my heart and she gave me a pen?"

"i gave her my ottoman and she walked out." - jack donaghy

Labels: things i watch that i love

i don't want to let you go til you see the light

we all love our relationship analogies, yeah?

Bitter is like the most popular guy in school asked you out, you think he likes you, you basically act the part of the dude in "When a Man Loves a Woman" (the song, not the movie, and the Percey Sledge version, not the Michael Bolton one -- he's going to come on the scene and freak you out in about eight years) and jump to his defense when everyone tries to knock him, because you know, believe he's genuine, and then he dumps you to go bang all the sluts in your school, your crosstown rival and at the Catholic school. Because you sticking up and defending him in blog posts that took you weeks to write meant nothing.
[bisch, explaining bitter to baby bisch in one of my most favorite blog posts of this or any other times]

And now it really doesn’t seem much different than your typical boy-meets-girl, boy-loses-girl story…does it?

He told you many times how much he loved you, how much he wanted to be a part of your family. You heard him, but did you ever really believe him?

It was love at first sight in February 2004…right around Valentine’s Day in fact. You couldn’t believe your good fortune. The prettiest girl in school really wanted to go to the prom with you??? Together you were going places. You had your ups and downs, but you thought in the end your love for each other was going to pull you through. After all, money can’t buy you love…can it?

Of course, you’ll get another chance. You’ll have the chance to take him back. Maybe before he takes that last fateful step, before he signs the final papers and makes that phone call. You know the one. “Baby, are you sure we can’t work this out?”

But you laid down the law. Just like Gloria Gainor, you told A-Rod that if you “walk out the door, don’t turn around now, cuz you’re not welcome anymore.” If you go back on your word now, you’re inviting everyone to walk all over you for the rest of your life.

But now you start to wonder…were you to blame for this? You knew this might be a possibility. It was part of the pre-nup you signed, remember? And he didn’t keep it a secret. He hinted at it this past spring…if you don’t treat him better, maybe you won’t have him to kick around anymore. Maybe you could have loved him more, been more understanding when he was feeling troubled. He says he still wants to be with you, but you’ve had your doubts all along. [sweeny murti]

and i'm thinking this is either the baseball equivalent of "take me back, i was drunk!" or it's like that time your first love stomped all over your heart only to come back a short while later all "take me back, i was wrong." so you do, because you miss him. he's the prettiest boy of all the boys, and the smartest, and the charmingest when he decides to be, and after all isn't it a credit to you that you can pull that kind of [boy equivalent of wool]? so you're happy, right? of course, and you'll stand by your man and all, but it's never gonna be the same sweet, blindly hopeful thing. oh well. what better to leave yall with than a little song from one of the brilliantest of bitter lovesongwriters:

Labels: team a-rod

qotd

"“I think Alex is so scared, he might still come back." - Person Granted Anonymity Because he was Not Authorized to Speak Publicly

i can only presume he's scared of incurring my eternal wrath. as he should be.

Labels: i don't even know, quote of, team a-rod, yanquis

qotd

"...hopefully I’m hopefully looking forward to working with [joe girardi]." - jorge posada

it's almost as great as "i'm probably pretty sure it will work out for the best."

Labels: quote of, yanquis

boyfriend of the day

I heard this song lyric the other day and guess which just-opted-out 3rd baseman it reminded me of:

“Baby I got my facts learned real good right now. You better get it straight darling. Poor man wanna be rich, rich man wanna be king, and a king ain't satisfied till he rules everything. I wanna go out tonight, I wanna find out what I got.”

That’s from “Badlands” by Bruce Springsteen.

I’m in a big Springsteen kick right now just like everyone else. The new album is terrific. I saw one of the shows at the Meadowlands last month. I even went last weekend to see a terrific Bruce tribute band called Tramps Like Us. Not just a knockoff band, these guys are good. Check ‘em out at www.trampslikeus.com.

Maybe I’ve been spending a little too much time thinking about A-Rod when I get reminded of him listening to a Springsteen song. Anyway, it’s getting late and I have to run…because the night belongs to…oh, never mind. [sweeny murti]

la la la

St. Louis Cardinals third baseman Scott Rolen may waive his no-trade clause to escape manager Tony La Russa, the St. Louis Post Dispatch reported Monday.

Rolen, who has battled shoulder problems the last two years, was benched for a few games during the 2006 postseason, causing a rift between he and La Russa, who just signed a two-year contract extension.

The two claimed they had patched up any differences, but it was obvious there were problems between the two and according to the report, the club now acknowledges the problem. [msnbc]

Labels: birds on bat