no, it's not from the onion

Ken Griffey Jr. remained out of the Cincinnati Reds' lineup for a second day Friday with pleurisy, an inflammation in the lining of a cavity surrounding the lungs. [yahoo sports]

what's next? rickets? leprosy?

Labels: national league

the only thing

that's really unbearable about a yankees losing streak are all the raving lunatics that come out of the woodwork. and suddenly every place is crawling with them, like some freaked out zombies. seriously people, get a fucking grip.

Labels: stfu

totally out of context, "that's what she said," quote of the morning

"The big thing I saw was even when [phil hughes] was down, he kept coming." -- jorge posada

Labels: pocket rocket, quote of, things that are funny

just glanced quickly through my pictures from last night and am a little disappointed at the amount that didn't come out at all. still, if this had been the only one i'd have been happy:

On a cool spring night in the Bronx, with the Yankees spinning through a worrisome crisis, a young man bowed his head, curled his long legs into a crouch and uttered a silent request behind the Stadium mound. [lisa olson]

Labels: baby bombers, pocket rocket, yanquis

Labels: hmph

:)

The most notable piece of information coming out of ESPN's Sunday Yankees-Red Sox telecast had nothing to do with the network's attempts to portray Daisuke Matsuzaka as a man who has reinvented the art of throwing a baseball.

...ESPN created its own fib with a sequence video of Boston's four-HR barrage. At the end of the third inning, replays of each dinger aired. The fourth, hit by Jason Varitek, was followed by a reaction shot of a stunned Boston GM, Theo Epstein, saying, "Oh my God." This replay was taken out of sequence. Epstein went gaga after J.D. Drew hit the second HR. ... After their great Dice-K buildup, Miller/Morgan/Gammons didn't offer a credible critique of the pitcher's performance, which did not come close to matching all the hype. Perhaps the most honest analysis came during a shot of Alex Rodriguez in the Yankee dugout. His lips, and his Dice-K comment, appeared easy to read: "He's got nothing." . . . Late in Braves-Mets Friday, the SNY crew, led by Gary Cohen, decided it was a good idea to discuss how opponents could be upset over A-Rod's recent HR celebrations. For the SNY guys to go down this road was strange.

They were markedly absent in 2006, not raising a similar question after a Mets celebration was touched off by David Wright's game-winning hit off Mariano Rivera. The SNY guys also have not pursued a similar curiosity - or condemnation - over the Mets' orchestrated dugout dances usually led by the great Jose Reyes. [bob raissman]

Labels: hmph, national league, sox

what fresh hell is THIS

maybe i've been living under a rock but jesus christ. prices were horrific enough before.

Labels: fuck you people, yanquis

two things

1. i heard suzyn waldman say on the pregame the messiah's starting on thursday? what a week for me to be poor.

2. speaking of suzyn, she related a nice little anecdote which i will likely mangle here: "i was sitting on the clubhouse couch with chien ming wang (who was absolutely BEAMING) and a-rod comes in and literally jumps into his arms and says, 'wanger! i missed you! i'm gonna take you out on a date!'"

edit: okay, so i'm bad at remembering things. RLYW has it as "wanger! I LOVE YOU! YOU"RE BACK! i'm gonna take you out on a date!"

the important thing here is that the yankees clearly hate each other and are no fun.

Labels: baby bombers, team a-rod, yanquis

ha!

izzy appears to be back where he belongs so that means mo's yearly hiccup is over, right guys?

Labels: %#^%*$, birds on bat

sing it sista

alyssa milano:

... even if all the rumors about my MLB love life were true (which they're not) –- we should really examine the double standard that is in full effect here. I know for a fact, that there are many MLB players (plural) or athletes in general for that matter who have dated many Screen Actors Guild members. I won't name names (cough Derek Jeter cough). And yet, these guys are considered cool and we give them props for getting their high profile starlets. On the other hand, women who have dated more than one guy in any profession are easy targets for ridicule. I am speaking personally of course, but I am sure any woman that reads this entry can relate to this double standard and how it may pertain to their lives relative to their own experience.

Labels: what it feels like for a girl

trenton starter brett smith appears to be doing an interesting baseball thing right now -- you can listen live at milb.com.

edit: or at least he was til he got pulled. oh well. listen anyway!

Labels: baby bombers

i'm just going to post this whenever i'm displeased

Labels: %#^%*$, yanquis

thinking out loud

i keep reading/seeing/whatevering chatter about the inevitability of a-rod opting out of his contract for greener, gentler pastures. the world, whether they're for or against his departure, seems to be convinced that he'll leave new york. i don't have a prediction to make. i know what i'd prefer to happen, though admittedly were i as brilliant at my work yet so constantly abused i'd have given you ungrateful fucks the finger long ago. but he's still here, and has given no indication that he wants to be anywhere else. people point to his agent, and money, but realistically how much more is he going to get? realistically, how many perennially contending teams are going to be able to afford him? why would anyone think the yankees wouldn't go all out in an effort to keep him? he also seems to have a keen sense of his place in history (and i'm not trying to go all mystique and aura on your asses you guys, i'm really not) and wouldn't finishing his career here, bigger and brighter than so many of the monument park crew, look real pretty on that resume, on that HOF plaque? not to mention sticking around and destroying records would be the best fuck you of all to the ignorant putzes in the pressbox and in the stands, if laying his vengeance down upon thee (sorry replacement level, it was just too wonderful not to steal) is his motivating factor. as a long term fuck you, it's perfect. in 50 years, no one's going to remember mike lupica or steve phillips or [insert frothing at the mouth with hatey nonsense writer/broadcaster here] said, or what the crackheaded i miss the 90s contingent thought. all that's gonna be left is numbers, bitches.

what do i know, though. i still look at the guy and can't believe he's even here, like the first hot flushes of love when you look at your significant other and wonder what the hell they're doing with you and how'd you get so lucky. unfortunately both baseball and men usually end up disappointing me, so i guess i'll just keep on hoping for the best and expecting the worst.

Labels: team a-rod

excuse me but

izzy, get out of mo's body this instant.

Labels: %#^%*$

quotes of the night

"[ramon ortiz] was once a fairly highly touted prospect who drew comparisons to Pedro Martinez, since he’s Dominican and throws a changeup." -- sg

"THAT'S THE THING THAT KILLED MAUDE FLANDERS!" -- my delighted, baseball novice friend during that t-shirt shooting gimmick they do at minor league games

Labels: quote of

OH YES

edit: how about that chase wright?

Chase Wright and Jeff Kennard combined on a two-hit shutout as the Trenton Thunder downed Harrisburg, 2-0, on Wednesday night in Eastern League play. Trenton is now 5-1 on the year and off to their best start since the 1999 Thunder squad started that season 10-0.

Wright allowed a single to Senators CF Roger Bernadina to start the game, but then retired the next 14 batters in a row. A 5th Inning walk to DH Cristian Guerrero broke that string, but Wright came back to retire his final seven batters of the game. Wright (1-0) allowed one hit and one walk in seven shutout innings. He had nine strikeouts on the night. Wright now has worked 14 shutout innings to start the season with 19 strikeouts. [trenton thunder]

Labels: baby bombers

favorite email exchange of yesterday

while discussing whatever aliens have invaded braden looper's body:

me: dave duncan is to shitty pitchers what anne sullivan was to helen keller. unreal. i wonder where he gets his magical pixie dust from.
mike: um, i'm now imagining black and white dave duncan pumping water over sir sid's arms and sidney saying "wa-wa! wa-wa!"

Labels: quote of

Mike Mussina, not one to take big sartorial risks, picked up a brown felt fedora "Indiana Jones" style hat and was featuring it with a black leather jacket. "It started out as a joke, but I kind of l ike it," Mussina said.

It was a hit. "He IS loosening up this year," Carl Pavano hollared. "The Moose is LOOSE."

Someone came up with a new nickname: "Pensylvania Jones" [dom amore's blog]

warm and fuzzy as the above makes me, i have to disagree with dom's opinion on what constitutes sartorial risks -- moose is a guy who wears the likes of coogi sweaters and chico's bail bonds t-shirts. that all seems pretty risky to me.

Labels: yanquis

an oldie but a goodie

was going through the BoBC post we've got stickied for preserving favorite bits of our gamethreads, and while i was looking for something else entirely, i thought this was too fun to pass by:

sey: Tony Womack, last among American League starters in slugging percentage, last in the league in RBIs per baserunner (11 out of 155), last in the league in marginal lineup value, second-least productive hitter in the league as per VORP (trailing Aaron Boone); the fourth-worst in on-base percentage (trailing Boone, Juan Uribe, and Omar Infante) enjoy!
me: do you really not realize how up to date i am on tony-womack-hating-material?
sey: Just making sure everyone knows. I'm going to vote for Tony for the all star game!

Labels: quote of, things that are funny

honestly

my reaction would have been about the same

When the Cardinals' center fielder arrived at Minute Maid Park, Edmonds was so certain he was in the starting lineup against Houston Astros lefthander Wandy Rodriguez that he didn't check the card manager Tony La Russa posted on the clubhouse wall. So Taguchi, not Edmonds, received the assignment, prompting Edmonds to offer, "You're kidding." [stl today]

Labels: birds on bat

totally anonymous, don't look at me like that qotd

"would you make out with gator? i would. i have no shame. plus i'd tell everyone about it.

i'd have conversations like, 'oh, your daughter has leukemia? that's so sad. i had sex with ron guidry.'

it'd be like my version of 'i saved latin, what did you ever do?'" -- some person

Labels: quote of, things that are funny, yanquis

$#%&^*%)*(

ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod
ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod
ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod
ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod
ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod
ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod

Labels: team a-rod, yanquis

squee inducing qotd

from last night's office:

karen: you'd rather sit on your couch and watch a phillies game than go out to a movie with your awesome girlfriend!
jim absolutely correct!

Labels: quote of, teh office, things i watch that i love, things that are funny

a little more snow

and the yankees could have done this! giant snowmen would have gloved things just as well as the actual players, i'm sure.

Gotta love this hillarious picture from the Sea Dogs' website. They got 14 inches of snow up there and have to postpone tonight's game, on top of losing last night's season opener. So someone went out and built snowmen at each of the field positions.

[lifted from the neato thunder report]

Labels: milb, yanquis

favorite thing about an otherwise horseshit game

kay: ...so what's jeter's weakness?
joe: i think going to his left he's not as strong.
[STONY SILENCE]

Labels: quote of, things that are funny, yanquis, yes men

no we do-on't

one more thing to tack on the list of reasons why i'm starting to really dislike you people:

Williams, meanwhile, is cooling his heels at home in Armonk after the Yankees refused to guarantee him a spot on the team during spring training. On Opening Day, Williams called Yankees manager Joe Torre to wish him well, pledging to stay in shape should an opening arise. Before the game, some fans started a "we want Bernie" chant honoring one of the Yankees' most popular players. [star ledger]

Labels: hmph, yanquis

quote of the evening

"WHAT IN THE GOOD GREAT GODDAMN MOTHERFUCKING SHIT." -- juney

Labels: birds on bat, hmph, quote of

it's too early in the season for me to be so grumpy

one rained out bunch and another with preston wilson a lingering hangover from october. feh. oh well, at least the 11th is phil hughes bobblehead day in trenton.

Labels: baby bombers

if? what do you mean, if?

The Yankees’ defense is a worry. While the bullpen will probably generate a lot of strikeouts, the rotation is going to need its fielders. Pavano, Andy Pettitte and Chien-Ming Wang are big-time groundball pitchers. If Derek Jeter is not going to get to many balls up the middle, that is going to be a problem. [joel sherman]

Labels: yanquis

quotes of the first day of the season

"Even when he's not doing anything [jose reyes is] the most exciting player in the game." - joe morgan

"And Jose Reyes is the most exciting player in the game. He can just stand there and be exciting. I'm sure Joe Morgan could watch the guy take a dump and get excited....just needed to get that off my chest." - veb

this was all i heard: "ONE OF THE MOST EXCITING APPROACHES TO A GROUNDER THAT YOULL EVER SEE!!!11 WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU SAW AN INFIELDER SPRINT TOWARDS A BALL!!!11 SLURP SLURP SLURP!"

Labels: birds on bat, hmph, quote of