soft hands.

1. per replacement level: TEH MESSIAH HAS A WEBSITE!

2. happy halloween! i think this is the first time ever i'm not dressing up for my favorite holiday; i no longer have a job that requires it, and my neighborhood has slowly become trick-or-treater free. still have my snow white costume and my lydia deetz dress collecting dust though.. if i can find a download of witch's night out or mr boogedy somewhere maybe i'll get dressed up later for a not-very-scary film festival. :D
11:47 AM :: 6 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

i still don't know

how everything, from this


to this


happened so quickly. i just don't.
11:32 AM :: 3 comments ::

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quote of the happy day

But the thing Tigers fans should panic about most is that Tigers hitters are swinging at pretty much everything they see. There was a flyover before Tuesday night’s game. Detroit leadoff hitter Curtis Granderson swung at the planes.

It was that bad. Anywhere in America you see someone pitching anything — pennies, horseshoes, clients, fits, whatever — there will be a Detroit Tigers players to swing the bat. [kansas city star]


1:47 PM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink


from btf's death of derek jeter thread:

25. Guapo Posted: October 19, 2006 at 11:54 AM (#2217810)

One morning, Derek Jeter awoke to discover that he had transformed into a giant cockroach. The clutchest cockroach ever. He rolled out of bed, ignoring the screams from the nubile Maxim covergirl lying next to him, and quickly donned his uniform as best he could in his current condition. Today was opening day and he had to go to Yankee Stadium to play against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

A quiet murmur circulated through the stands as the Yankee fans contemplated Derek fielding practice grounders before the game. The only indication that this was, in fact, the Yankee captain that they had grown to know and idolize was the familiar "2" on the back of his jersey. In the press box, Michael Kay looked down at the giant cockroach and felt a certain kinship that he couldn't quite explain.

The game began. The Yankee fans began their usual roll call of the players, but instead of "De-rek Jet-er" they chanted "Gi-ant ####-roach." Obviously, they had decided to go with it. Derek discreetly tipped his hat, revealing two long antenna that bounced around slightly in the cool April breeze that blew through Yankee Stadium.

The leadoff hitter for the Devil Rays, a short, unhappy man who secretly desired to be a concert pianist, grounded a ball sharply up the middle. In the past, this had been Derek's only weakness, the groundball that required him to range to his left and dive. Now, however, as a giant cockroach, diving was no longer necessary. Derek deftly scuttled to his left, cleanly picked off the ball with his glove, and fired a strike to first, beating the runner by half a step. As the crowd roared its approval, Derek fist-pumped three of his legs. It was going to be a good season.

43. Jack Keefe Posted: October 19, 2006 at 01:16 PM (#2217917)

Well now Al it is a contest to see who can write a story about Derek Jeter like Jeter is talking only he talks like a famous writer. So here is my story DEREK JETER by Jack Keefe.


Well Al here I am leading off for the Yankees my name is Derek Jeter we are at Yankee Stadium and playing the White Sox and Johnny Demon is on second and the pitcher is a tall handsome drink of water I do not reckognize at first but as he turns his back to go into his motion I see his name KEEFE which looks very crisp on his road greys Al. Now when I try to swing at Keefe's first pitch to hit a home run like I always do it breaks past my bat and I am oh and One and then I take a pitch high but the umpire is a Sox fan so I am 0 and Two. I choke up a little and get set to powder the next pitch but it is a changeup and I am so far out in front I fall to earth and give a little noise and Mr. Torre comes out and stands over me but I am not dead Al I am thinking of a way to stand back up and punch that Keefe in the nose for making me look bad in the story I am writing about my self well I guess I have to go back into the club house and blame it on my 3rd Baseman off the record Al.

45. OneAlou Posted: October 19, 2006 at 01:54 PM (#2217950)

In my younger and more vulnerable years my manager gave me some advice that I've been turning over in my mind ever since.

"Whenever you feel like criticizing anyone," he told me, "just remember that all the people in this league haven't had the advantages that you've had."

He didn't say any more but we've always been unusually communicative in a reserved way and I understood that he meant a great deal more than that. In consequence I'm inclined to reserve all judgements, a habit that has opened up many curious rookies to me and also made me the victim of not a few veteran retread bores. The abnormal mind is quick to detect and attach itself to this quality when it appears in a normal person, and so it came about that in the minors I was unjustly accused of being a politician, because I was privy to the secret griefs of wild, unknown pitchers. Most of the confidences were unsought -- frequently I have feigned sleep, preoccupation or a hostile levity when I realized by some unmistakable sign that an intimate revelation was quivering on the horizon -- for the intimate revelations of young ballplayers or at least the terms in which they express them are usually plagiaristic and marred by obvious suppressions. Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope. I am still a little afraid of missing something if I forget that, as Joe Torre snobbishly suggested and I snobbishly repeat, a sense of the fundamental decencies is parcelled out unequally in the amateur draft.

And, after boasting this way of my tolerance, I come to the admission that it has a limit. Conduct may be founded on the infield dirt or the outfield grass but after a certain point I don't care what it's founded on. When I came back from the Yankees this autumn I felt that I wanted the world to be in baseball uniform and at a sort of moral attention forever; I wanted no more riotous excursions with privileged glimpses into the human heart. Only A-Rod, the man who gives his name to this book, was exempt from my reaction -- A-Rod who represented everything for which I have an unaffected scorn. If baseball is an unbroken series of successful statistics, then there was something gorgeous about him, some heightened sensitivity to the promises of life, as if he were related to one of those intricate machines that register pitch speeds a hundred feet away. This responsiveness had nothing to do with that flabby passivity which is dignified under the name of "plate discipline" -- it was an extraordinary power stroke, a swing of smoothness such as I have never found in any other person and which it is not likely I shall ever find again. No -- A-Rod turned out all right at the end; it is what preyed on A-Rod, what foul dust floated in the wake of his dreams that temporarily closed out my interest in the abortive sorrows and short-winded elations of baseball.

65. Zagg Posted: October 19, 2006 at 03:51 PM (#2218058)
'Twas Selig, and the slithy gloves
Did Mickey, Dimaggio and the Babe;
All Bronxy was the borough,
And the home run out of play.
'Beware the Jeterwock, my son!
The bats that hit, the gloves that catch!
Beware the Blue Jay bird, and shun
The frumious Halladay!'
He took his maple bat in hand:
Long time the fastball foe he sought--
So rested he by the batting tee,
And stood awhile in thought.
And as in clutchish thought he stood,
The Jeter, with eyes of flame,
Came swinging with the Louisville wood,
And dribbled foul it came!
One and two! One and two! And through and through
The maple bat went snicker-smack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went a-trotting back.
'And hast thou slain the Jeterwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
O frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!'
He chortled in his joy.
'Twas Selig, and the slithy gloves
Did Mickey, Dimaggio and the Babe;
All Bronxy was the borough,
And the home run out of play.

stopping before i quote the whole damn thing.


4:25 PM :: 1 comments ::

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el birdos:
Rule 8.02 The pitcher shall not --
(b) Have on his person, or in his possession, any foreign substance. For such infraction of this section (b) the penalty shall be immediate ejection from the game. In addition, the pitcher shall be suspended automatically for 10 games.

In my opinion, Rogers shouldn't have pitched the 2nd inning. Nor should he pitch in game 6 if needed. I don't know, isn't having foreign substance on your palm on national TV enough?

Either way, Rogers is dealing, and the Cards are being impatient. Weaver's been dancing on a knives edge all night, but credit him for bearing down...

Update [2006-10-22 22:55:43 by lboros]: there is a precedent for ejecting pitchers in the postseason for having illegal substances on the mound: in game 3 of the NLCS, jay howell of the dodgers got caught with pine tar on his glove. he was pitching on a cold rainy day (much like rogers tonight). howell, the dodgers' closer, was ejected and suspended for the next 2 games of the nlcs. link here.

espn: [sotto voce] something was obviously on his hand but lets look at[/sotto voce] HOW PHENOMENAL KENNY ROGERS HAS BEEN!!!111"

and now i'm subjected to a bbtn panel comprised of dusty baker, john kruk and steve phillips? bitch PLEASE.
1:34 AM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

separated at birth?


and two:
58z4TQfTDavid Lynch

in other news: MEH.


11:01 PM :: 6 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

john mellencamp?

8:13 PM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

i should just call it the scott rolen quote of the day

on last night's home run: “The ball’s in the air, and I’m trying to figure out, how’s this one going to screw up? What’s going to happen here? Is it going to hit a tree?”

on that weird interference play: “I got up and tried to score, slid into a dead play at the plate and ran back and got my helmet like the guy in ‘Saving Private Ryan’ looking for his arm.”

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3:27 PM :: 2 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

quote of the day

"Swift kick in the … leg – the shin." -- scott rolen, on how it felt watching endy chavez's spectacular and fucking devastating-at-the-time leaping catch

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3:49 PM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink


immediately post yadi (whose joyful whoops and squeals as he bounded around the bases are burned in my baseball memory's happy place) home run, txting (after making sure i hadn't broken my little hands from all the furious clapping) juney (who was at the game. lucky bitch): eeeeeeeeeeeeee agggggggggghhhh
june: am having stroke

in the bobc gamethread after the last out: I WAS SO EXCITED I ACCIDENTALLY TURNED OFF MY TV
mike: ha!
me: it's true! i was like, almost gnawing* on my remote and as the pitch fell in i threw up my hands and squeezed it and turned the damn thing off

*why do we do that, anyway? hold things (our hands, whatever we happen to be grasping) in front of our mouth when we're anxiously awaiting the outcome of a tense situation? note to self: investigate.
2:55 PM :: 4 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

dear baseball:

(maybe i'll change my mind in a week. but right now? don't care. can't care.)
2:12 PM :: 3 comments ::

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11:58 PM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

re you redbirds

12:59 PM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

joke of the day

(thanks mike)
A-Rod for Pat Burrell. Even up.

OK, stop laughing and just read on.

The Phillies are desperate for a righthanded power bat to protect Ryan Howard. Maybe even desperate enough to pick up the $20-odd million a year due Rodriguez. Since Burrell makes $10 million, it's not a crazy as it sounds. Factor in that former third baseman David Bell made $4 million and catcher Mike Lieberthal made $8 million and the money clearly is available.

And having two 50-homer men in a city that hadn't had one since Jimmie Foxx would certainly pack the park to the tune of three million customers (a la 2004) again.

So it would be worth considering financially, too.

I know what you're thinking: The Phillies might do it, but why would the Yankees?

Well, they might not. But Burrell's 61 homers and 212 RBIs the last two seasons (32 and 117 in 2005; 29 and 95 this year) are nothing to sneeze at, and neither is the $10 million savings Burrell would represent. [philly inquirer]


2:39 PM :: 1 comments ::

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i'm stunned beyond words.
5:30 PM :: 0 comments ::

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joe sheehan via FJM:
At just about any point along the way, one of the two most visible Yankees—Joe Torre or Derek Jeter—could have come forward and said what should be obvious: Alex Rodriguez is a great, great player, and in the worst season of his career he’s a star. Defining his season by his lowest points is doing him a disservice, and the constant focus on his play is an insult to the other members of the team. Whatever Rodriguez’s performance issues, such as they were, his overall contributions were valuable. Beyond that, he’s one of the game’s model citizens, with barely a controversy to his name in a time when so many others have been tainted.

That statement, completely true, would have done more to alleviate the pressure on Rodriguez than anything else. They didn’t do so, instead allowing petty nonsense like his desire to please people (heaven forfend) and his performance is varied subsets (in Boston, in the playoffs, against a small handful of pitchers, in 20 at-bats in July) to substitute for real information. They didn’t defend their teammate, and by allowing, even stoking, the situation, they absolved themselves and every other Yankee of blame for their fortunes. If they lost, it would be Rodriguez’s fault, no matter how the rest of them played.

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7:59 PM :: 2 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

well, anyway.



7:00 PM :: 6 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

let's explore my disgust a wee bit shall we

jaret wright starting a potential elimination game = problem
REALLY hoping randy johnson's creaky old spine holds up! = problem
the gary sheffield experiment carrying over into the playoffs = problem
the tiresome notion of TEH CORE vs everyone else = problem
the manager, part of whose job it is to put his players in a position to succeed and shield his players from bullshit, makes a move which will effectively cement alex rodriguez's place as scapegoat in all this = problem
3:46 PM :: 12 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

the last word i thought i'd ever use when referring to the dugout is poignant, but there's really nothing else that fits.
2:01 AM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

i think i need a new heart indeed

one more for the list of the day's indignities: a magnetic fields song in a dog food commercial. scored irving free food for life, i guess.
10:36 PM :: 3 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

make that "so disgusted i could vomit everywhere."
5:59 PM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

dear yankees


see that? the bat hitting the ball thing? i think you should try that.


2:46 AM :: 4 comments ::

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12:52 AM :: 0 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

quote of the morning

"the whole "murderers row and cano" thing would totally piss me off if I were Robbie. I'd be all "HOW IS A 525 SLG (2ND ON THE TEAM ONLY TO GIAMBI [QUAL]) AND AN 890 OPS (GOOD FOR 4TH ON THE TEAM [QUAL]) NOT MURDEROUS YOU ASSHOLES" -- the madly blogging juneh


8:47 AM :: 5 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink

i'm a bad blogger, i know.

i'm not analytical or savvy or gifted enough for predictions and previews, and i don't think "i'm so excited i could vomit everywhere" makes for a quality post. but it's all i got.
2:29 PM :: 6 comments ::

lupe! :: permalink