ot: conversation of the day

or yesterday, rather.

bus driver: have you ever thought about teaching? like kindergarten, or first grade? no higher than first grade.
me: at one point i did, why?
bus driver: because you have this... how can i describe it.. really WHOLESOME look. you'd be great with little kids. have you ever heard that before?
me [wondering what wholesomeness has to do with teaching ability but opting to not go there]: that i'd be a good teacher? yeah, actually i have gotten that before.
bus driver [triumphantly]: SEE! everybody can't be wrong!
me: i guess!
bus driver: or ivory soap!
me: wha?
bus driver: commercials! they have a hard time finding people with a look like yours!
me: i could sell soap?
bus driver: or dishwashing detergent!
me: or aprons! or cookies!
bus driver: now you're just making a joke out of it, but i mean it!
me: i'm sorry!
bus driver: think about it.

excuse me?

in an otherwise innocuous article about chien ming wang:

He understands that keeping his hard sinker down is the route to success in the major leagues, and he understands the critical nature of his role on a pitching staff stretched thin and searching for an ace to carry the team through the heat of the summer.

they have an ace, he's just searching for some run support.

Labels: yanquis

mazel tov

Yankee Johnny Damon and wife Michelle are expecting their first baby, we hear. (Damon has 7-year-old twins Madelyn and Jackson with ex-wife Angie.) [daily news' side dish]

is it awful of me to keep envisioning one of those If They Mated sketches?

ot: my new hero

Eighty-year-old Mary Wohlford has informed family members of her wishes should she ever become incapacitated. She also has signed a living will that hangs on the side of her refrigerator.

But the retired nurse and great-grandmother now believes she has removed all potential for confusion.

She had the words "DO NOT RESUSCITATE" tattooed on her chest.

Really. [des moines register]

yeah albert, i feel that way too, sometimes.

proctor is the new sturtze

from the lohud yankee blog: "Scott Proctor has appeared in 18 of the 37 games including nine of the last 16 and has thrown more pitches (402) than any reliever in baseball."

so i guess villone is the new felix rodriguez?

it never stops being funny

me: what the hell was that noise?
lorena: A FART!

moose rules everything around me

The pockets of early-arriving fans had greeted Mike Mussina in a most unfamiliar way as he strode past them early yesterday afternoon.

Mussina had made the long, loping walk from his car to the gate wearing his ever-impassive game face, and it stayed that way even as the fans behind the blue police barriers showered him with hope. "You're our guy, Moose!" one screamed; "You're the ace!" yelled another; "Ace! Ace! Ace!" chanted a third.

It's astounding when you consider how good Mussina has been as a Yankee, and how much money he has earned, that he's never truly been considered the stopper of the staff, even when he was the nominal ace. There was always someone else occupying everyone's attention: Roger Clemens or Andy Pettitte, David Wells or Randy Johnson.

...And seven hours after being serenaded with the uncommon chants of "Ace!" Mussina left the mound to the far more familiar chorus of "MOOOOOOOSE!"

"It's always gratifying when you do your job well," Mussina said, "and people appreciate it."

He is 6-1 now, his ERA nudged just a hair north to 2.54, eight quality starts in eight appearances. All of this done in a straight-up showdown with Schilling, the blowhard social critic who occasionally doubles as the Red Sox' ace. Schilling, who had plenty to say about the manners and mannerisms of New York on Tuesday, showed up Wednesday and was nice enough to serve up batting practice for five innings.

Why, oh why, do bad things happen to good people? [mike vaccaro]

Labels: yanquis

that's the only thing i've plenty of, baby

i know i've been a bad blogger lately, and continuing along in that lazy vein, i thought i'd share some already old pictures from phil hughes' trenton debut. other people have commented on the outing far better than i, so don't expect any analysis from me; just some shaky camera work.

Labels: baby bombers, pocket rocket

overheard at yankee stadium

Drunk guy: Jesus Christ! My Grandma catches better than you! And she can't even speak English! Or is alive!

read the rest!

my response would be a resounding yes

kay: i saw alex at the gym early today and he was in good spirits, and obviously he's not letting [his slump] weigh on his mind away from the field, and i just tell you that story to tell you that i was at the gym.
leiter: doing what? [muffled snarky laughter] watching a-rod work out?

Labels: quote of, things that are funny, yes men

qotd

"Don't you want them to start winning night games?" - the incomparable Yankee Chicken