soft hands.

ot: conversation of the day

or yesterday, rather.

bus driver: have you ever thought about teaching? like kindergarten, or first grade? no higher than first grade.
me: at one point i did, why?
bus driver: because you have this... how can i describe it.. really WHOLESOME look. you'd be great with little kids. have you ever heard that before?
me [wondering what wholesomeness has to do with teaching ability but opting to not go there]: that i'd be a good teacher? yeah, actually i have gotten that before.
bus driver [triumphantly]: SEE! everybody can't be wrong!
me: i guess!
bus driver: or ivory soap!
me: wha?
bus driver: commercials! they have a hard time finding people with a look like yours!
me: i could sell soap?
bus driver: or dishwashing detergent!
me: or aprons! or cookies!
bus driver: now you're just making a joke out of it, but i mean it!
me: i'm sorry!
bus driver: think about it.
1:13 PM :: ::
  • I disagree strongly with said bus driver.

    They don't need you to sell wholesome products. You'd be much better hawking normally distasteful things and making them appear wholesome.

    "Hi, this is Lupe for Mickey's Malt Liquor."

    "Nothing fills me with easy tranquility like new Marlboro Menthol 72s."

    "Now you can do it yourself with Ronco's new Female Circumcision Kit!"

    "First Amendment? Who needs it!" (Paid for by John Marcus for Congress).

    "Honey, what should be do tonight? The kids are in bed and there's nothing to do." "Don't worry, Matt, I have just the solution, something we both can enjoy: midget porn!"

    "Mmmmmm, tripe!"

    By Blogger Mr. Faded Glory, at 3:03 PM   <$BlogItemControl$>
  • you never cease to amaze me

    By Blogger lupe_velez, at 4:57 PM   <$BlogItemControl$>
  • Is he going to be your agent?

    By Anonymous Walter, at 9:49 PM   <$BlogItemControl$>
  • hopefully i never see him again

    By Blogger lupe_velez, at 11:51 PM   <$BlogItemControl$>
  • What?! You don't love it when random strangers throw stereotypes your way? I don't believe it.

    By Anonymous Walter, at 12:52 AM   <$BlogItemControl$>
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