i can't be the only one that thinks sterling = ron burgundy
6.29.2007
: Excuse me. : What are you doing? : I need this machine so I can watch a tape for a story. : I'm using the tape. I'm showing Jeffrey my Emmy tape. We are watching history. : Mr. Burgundy, I'm a professional, and I would like to be able to do my job. : Big deal. I am very professional. : Mr. Burgundy, you are acting like a baby. : I'm not a baby, I am a man. I am an anchorman. : You are not a man. You are a big fat joke. : I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am. You're just a woman with a small brain. With a brain a third the size of us. It's science. : I will have you know that I have more talent and more intelligence in my little finger than you do in your entire body, sir. : You are a smelly pirate hooker. : You look like a blueberry. : Why don't you go back to your home on Whore Island? : Well, you have bad hair. : [insulted] What did you say? : I said... your hair... looks stupid.
Those who saw it still talk about "the bomb" Rick Ankiel drove over the right-field fence last month, over a berm and past a walkway at Round Rock's Dell Diamond. They talk about his right fielder's arm, center fielder's speed and his aptitude for learning a proper drop step needed to run down balls hit over his head.
And lately, the only organization Ankiel has ever known has pondered the proper time for promoting its former star-crossed pitcher to St. Louis as a position player. As the talk grows louder, Ankiel reminds himself not to listen.
"I just get excited about being successful," he says. "I try not to get too excited about where I'm at now because you never know what's going to happen."
No one is more entitled to that philosophy than Ankiel.
Ten years after being drafted, seven years after winning 11 games as a too-young-to-drink rookie lefthander and six years after virtually vanishing from the major leagues, Ankiel is close to accomplishing the truly Ruthian feat of moving from a major-league starting rotation to outfield. In between he has experienced a lifetime's worth of professional and personal angst. His return would represent an organizational as well as a personal triumph.
"I want to go up there and stay there and play for years," Ankiel says. "I don't want this to be a novelty where people say, 'Wow, look, he made it back' and then I go away."
Ankiel has had enough of being someone's novelty. He lived it for the last five years of his pitching existence, until his inability to retain command of his brilliant assortment proved too much to carry.
Now a month shy of turning 28 and one of only two remaining players in the organization from the 2000 NL Central Division championship team, Ankiel is ready for something else.
"I'm 27 now," he says. "I need to prove I can play or get out of the way." [stl post dispatch]
Eastern League Joba Chamberlain, Trenton 2-0, 0.82 ERA, 2 G, 2 GS, 11.0 IP, 6 H, 1 R, 1 ER, 3 BB, 17 SO Joba Chamberlain proved why the he's on top of the Yankees prospect list last week. Making his first two starts in Double-A after being called up from Tampa, Chamberlain dazzled and blew away more experienced hitters. The former Nebraska Cornhusker had 17 strikeouts in just 11 innings of work. His best outing came on June 12 when he pitched five innings without allowing a run. The husky righty fanned eight and scattered three hits.
which reminds me i haven't been to a thunder game since phil hughes bobblehead day. what is WRONG with me?
"My dad told me the worst swear word you could possibly say was "Bostonian". It meant 'someone who has no private parts.' My brother and I used the word until we were teenagers and my father giggled every time we said it, right before he sent us to our rooms."
(while watching what looked like a bad blind date being filmed in the romantic monster seats)
remy: i swear to god don, i think the best approach is to sit very calmly, look deep into her eye, and say "how you doin?" orsillo: you're gonna have two long innings, you gonna throw that out there the beginning of the next inning too? you gotta have something more than that! remy: you can always fall back on "how you doin?" cause she might be doin different, like two minutes from now than she was doin three minutes ago, know what i mean? [some other stuff] remy: and then there's that famous line, "i noticed you were sitting here alone. [pause] you shouldnt have been." orsillo: "are your legs tired? cause you've been running around in my mind all day!"
[baseball happens]
remy: let's go back to the guy! [they watch more of the date] orsillo: [unintelligible] look, his eyes almost popped out! he looked like large marge! remy: she has no intention... look at her! .......... poor guy, i feel bad. orsillo: it's not going well and he knows it!
The terror of Taiwan: Chien-Ming Wang is 0 for 5 at the plate in his career. But he was a good hitter as a high school first baseman in Taiwan and showed it yesterday when he homered off Ron Guidry in batting practice.
"Closed my eyes," Wang jokingly said after hitting a ball to the seats in left field.
Guidry threw his next pitch behind Wang, getting a big laugh from the rest of the team.
Wang is preparing for the team's interleague road games next week.
"I'll let him swing," Torre said.
in other news, fuck whoever switched "publish post" and "save now"
i'd like to think this of some kind of brilliantly funny joke but then i remember there are people who actually think this way. from the comments section (i know, i shouldn't even be reading them. i'm a masochist, okay?) of a certain beat writers blog which shall go unnamed:
Here’s something else:
Eckstein coming to the Yanks makes A-Rod look like the ultra-greedy mercenary and quitter he would be if he walked: A-Rod’s making $252M all total between Texas and the Yanks under his existing contract, but that’s not enough and here’s Eckstein, a blue collar guy signing for a respectable amount but still a fraction of A-Rod’s money.
Exit: A-Rod, an all-about-money loser who couldn’t win a World Series with three teams or handle the pressure of playing in N.Y., and doesn’t think 12 years $252M is enough. He wants basically/ probably 15 years $333M altogether (3 years and $81M added to his current contract). The height of greed and “me” attitude. Remember, if he wants 3 years $81M ($27M per) added to his current deal, the Yanks are paying all $27M per, not just $16M per they’re paying now cuz Texas is paying the rest. I don’t see the Yanks paying $27M per for 2011/12/13 A-Rod, sorry.
Enter: Eckstein, a gritty, scrappy veteran winner who helped both teams he played for win a World Series making a fraction of what A-Rod makes. Also not to knock the guy but he’s short. What I mean by that is he’s much more identifiable to the average fan cuz let’s face it he looks like one of them for the most part and yet he can hold is own. I could see kids looking at him and thinking “if he can play with all these big guys and I’m not a big guy, I can play”. Also he’s a family man, no shenigans, these things are important to the Yanks who are probably privately begging for A-Rod to leave after this year if they don’t win it. Even if the Yanks won it all, he got his ring and can get lost. I’d flat out tell him “no extension” World Series win or no W.S. win. Actually, I think Cashman already did.
If Eckstein comes to the Yanks to replace A-Rod and the Yanks win it all with him…WOW! He’s up there with Derek, Mo, Tino, Scott, Chuck, Paul, has to be.
i'm not going to bother with a long angry rant about this frustratingly ignorant POV. a disappointing amount of people cling to it and frankly i shouldn't have even expended the meager energy it took to copy and paste that bullshit.
alex rodriguez: League Leaders 2007 • Ranks 1st in AL in HR (19) • Ranks 4th in AL in RBI (45) • Ranks 3rd in AL in R (48) • Ranks 11th in AL in BB (28) • Ranks 2nd in AL in SLG (.630) • Ranks 4th in AL in OPS (1.022)
david eckstein: League Leaders 2007 • Ranks 1st in Grit in NL • Ranks 1st in Hustle in NL • Ranks 1st in Heart in NL • Ranks 1st in Scrap in NL • Ranks NOT VERY HIGHLY IN ANY USEFUL BASEBALL PLAYING CAPACITY UNLESS YOU VALUE THE FACT THAT HE BOUNDS ON AND OFF THE FIELD LIKE A GOLDEN RETRIEVER ON COKE
"two hundred years from now not one fucking person will remember or care who these moron gum-flappers were, while a-rod will have been one of the best to ever play this game. It's so pathetic. it's like a bunch of deeply, deeply stupid people sitting around bitching about, oh, I don't know, Albert Einstein, and making fun of him for having been a furriner and talkin' funny and having bad hair. Yeah, good luck with that. let us know if it ever takes away the pain of being VASTLY INFERIOR." - juneh
: Excuse me.
: What are you doing?
