quote of the day

"Uh, yeah. That's not a statistic I look at." -- brian cashman's reaction to the news that his team is 8-0 in day games

Labels: quote of, yanquis

Sources said Hernandez was reprimanded after the game by SNY executive producer Curt Gowdy Jr. That led to yesterday's apology during the second inning of the Mets-Padres game on Ch. 11.

"In my discussion I made a couple of inappropriate comments," Hernandez said. "If I have offended anybody I sincerely apologize."

Hernandez then referenced MLB's rule book, which he said states that besides the manager, players and five coaches, only the "head" and "assistant" trainers are allowed in the dugout.

Padres manager Bruce Bochy said before yesterday's game he had not heard firsthand what Hernandez had said but was told about it and was not amused.

"I didn't think gender was even an issue anymore," he said.

Calabrese said she was flabbergasted by Hernandez's comments.

"It amazes me that somebody of that caliber that has obviously played the game before and is in front of an audience of millions of people would say something like that," she said. "It's a little shocking, but you know what - it happens.

"He not only discredited me as a person, but he discredited women," she said.

Calabrese then walked down the hallway to the Padres' training room and joked, "Should I go in the kitchen now?" [bob raissman]

of course you were kidding, mex.

"Women are not part of the team," [Keith Hernandez] said. "A ball team is twenty-five guys with one thing on their minds, which is baseball. Then there are twenty-five wives and girlfriends who have nothing in common. It takes a very special woman to be married to an athlete. She has to be enormously secure within herself, and not many women are. I've been called a misogynist for this but it's what I believe." [from roger angell's a pitcher's story: innings with david cone]

for any enterprising youtubers out there, the following conversation takes place during the bottom of the second immediately after piazza's home run.

keith hernandez [watching the padres congratulate piazza on his home run]: who's the GIRL in the dugout? with the long hair? what's going on here?! you've gotta be kidding me!
gary cohen: she's excited!
hernandez: only... only player personnel in the dugout!
cohen: ...got a fistbump and everything!
hernandez: hanging slider! ...we'll get back to her, i'm not through with her... hanging slider over the middle, and you just can't do that to mike, and that's just a bomb. [more talk about piazza, camera wanders back to woman in the dugout] i thought she was morganna for a minute, but she wasn't blonde.
cohen: i wonder if she's something in connection with military night here?
hernandez: she's with the training staff, we understand. uhhhmm.
cohen: i did not know that there was a woman trainer in the major leagues.
hernandez: [disapproving noise] certain...
cohen: [hastily interrupting] that's a pretty progressive step if it's true.
hernandez: that's...well... i won't say that women belong in the kitchen but they don't belong in the dugout!
cohen: i don't think you should say that. [laughing] there's only trouble brewing if you say that, you know.
hernandez: i'm only teasing!
cohen: he's kidding!
hernandez: i love you gals out there! always have!
cohen: i'm telling your wife!
[more laughter]
cohen: her name is kelly calabrese, she is a massage therapist for the san diego padres, so there you go.
hernandez: only in california! i... i just. i can't believe it. i..i.. you think you've seen everything... and, you know, there's always something new.
cohen: the world keeps changing, my friend.
hernandez: [pauses and sighs]

[bottom of the fifth ]

cohen: and there's another shot of kelly calabrese, massage therapist for the padres who we were talking about earlier....
hernandez: i know i made some strong statements, that she doesn't belong in the dugout, and i stand by those statements... i think this is a man's game, and it just gets in the way, and i feel very strongly about it. and if anybody out there thinks that when i made the comment about women being in the kitchen,* takes it seriously... get a sense of humor.

*actually keith, it wasn't that, it was EVERYTHING ELSE.

Labels: boys behaving badly, what it feels like for a girl

quotes of the day

1. "Anybody wearing a pink hat who's older than seven should be taken to Macombs Dam Park and shot." - darth marc

2. michael kay: i was talking to john sterling before the game about how it's been so nice over the last week, and he'd actually taken out his speedo collection.
[shot of sterling looking typically pompous in the radio booth, hibbert and kitty unsuccessfully try to stifle hysterical laughter]
kenny dr hibbert singleton: what, does he have one for every day of the week?
kitty kaat: they call it the rainbow collection!

3. "A two run home run here would make it 4-3 cards, and that's exactly the way Jason [Isringhausen] likes it." - stl announcer guy

Labels: yes men

why i'll never read a baseball book in public again

matt nokes came up in conversation last night and of course, it reminded me of this priceless exchange of a few months ago:

[i'm sitting on a bench at a local train station, flipping through my newest baseball book and waiting for a new york train]

guy [saunters up nonchalantly]: hey, are you familiar with the schedule? to new york? i'm familiar with it monday through friday, just not on the weekends.

me [staring, because he'd just walked right past the giant sign with the schedule plastered all over it]: it runs every hour saturdays. it should be here around 2:30.

guy: dammit! i was hoping it would be here sooner...

me [clearly irritated and gesturing toward the train rumbling up]: that's the BAY HEAD train.

guy: heh heh, i could tell, uh, [walking away dialing phone selfimportantly] because of the direction it's going in.

[i go back to my book and guy proceeds to scream and yell about his divorce on the phone about 15 feet away. about 40 minutes later.........]

guy: heh, well, it's 2:30 and there's no train!

me [rolleyes]: 2:36, it's supposed to come.

guy: oh! [pause] what's your name? you have very pretty hair! do you do that yourself? are you irish? oh, half irish? what's the other half? oh! why are you going to the city? going out to dinner? meeting a boy? a girl? is she nice? ha ha, i was about to say something completely inappropriate! what do you do? oh, you're a DO GOODER! don't they like, shit themselves? sorry. where are you from? lakewood? are you jewish? were you the only white girl in your high school? it's okay, i grew up outside of newark and i was the only white guy in my high school and it sucked! what are you reading? [pause] wait a minute. you didnt hear that conversation i was having did you? THANK GOD. i'm just going through a divorce right now and all my friends are picking sides. but they should pick ME. even though i made some bad decisions*.... well. i'm losing my house, i fucking LOVE my house. and now i'm living in an apartment in fucking manasquan... i'm just going through a really emotional time right now. [pause] baseball! can i look? this is some heavy shit, jenny! i couldn't read this. wow. what does abstract mean? what team do you like? yankees? i have yankees tickets! who's your favorite player? scott rolen?! couldn't you pick someone cuter than scott rolen? he didn't even PLAY last year, how could you like him? come on, who's your all time favorite player? not mariano, go back further than that! mattingly right? matt NOKES!? he wasn't a bad catcher, he was a great power hitter! he had like 30 home runs one year! great answer jenny! so do you have a boyfriend? girlfriend? how old are you? why arent you married? you're not interested? in anything? with anyone? is this your way of telling me you're not going to give me your number? oh. [our train fucking finally rolls up] can i carry your bag for you?

me: NO.

*from what i gathered he cheated on his wife. which, you know, is one of the first things i look for in a man.

Labels: birds on bat, me me me, yanquis

nice bit on moose from buster olney's blog:

The last couple of years, Mussina's success or failure was often predicated on how good his fastball was on a given day. If he threw 88-90 mph, he had a chance to have a pretty good day, throwing his fastball high in the strike zone, while most of his off-speed stuff was in the range of 77-78 mph. If Mussina's fastball was 85-86 mph, however, he would get wrecked, the hitters always looking like they were all over everything he threw.

The adjustment Mussina has made, it seems, is to slow down his slow stuff. He was bending curves and flopping changeups at 70-71 mph against the Jays, with spectacular location (on an afternoon when both he and Jays starter Ted Lilly took advantage of home plate umpire Paul Runge's generous and consistent strike zone). Every so often, Mussina -- like Schilling, like Pedro Martinez -- would look to finish off a hitter with a fastball and suddenly whiz a 91-93 mph four-seam fastball, and because the Jays were kept off-balance by the variance, they were overwhelmed. In one of Troy Glaus' three strikeouts, it looked like the third baseman started his swing when the ball was already buried in Jorge Posada's mitt. It was the first time in several years that hitters appeared downright uncomfortable hacking against Mussina, because they never got a firm read on his velocity, the trajectory or the selection of his pitches.

As Mussina changed arm angles and speeds (it reminded me a lot of how Orlando Hernandez pitches), he allowed one run in 7.1 innings and picked up the 226th victory of his career. The Yankees have pitching problems, undoubtedly, but based on how Mussina looked, I don't think he'll be a concern. He appears to have learned how to win with slop -- good ol' fashioned slow stuff.

all we need now is a little eephus.

Labels: yanquis

quote of the day

"your next lesson is in 13 days when i walk into boston and smack the goofy out of your busted ass. my contract is loaded with beating the shit out of red sox incentives and by the looks of it i'm gonna have me some new bling." - pr0FF3ss0r_F4rnsw0rth

[thanks mike]

Labels: quote of

Among the hundreds and hundreds of things the Rays did to get ready for the first homestand of the new regime, principal owner Stuart Sternberg took credit for only one thing - More Cowbell.

The short clip - a snippet of an April 8, 2000, Saturday Night Live skit that ranks among the show's funniest - made its way to the videoboard opening night, and soon will become a Tropicana Field staple, with plans to make it the Rays' version of the Angels' now-legendary Rally Monkey.

The scene is a parody of a VH1 Behind the Music segment on Blue Oyster Cult, showcasing its hit (Don't Fear) the Reaper. Christopher Walken plays supposedly legendary music producer Bruce Dickinson , and he insists that the key to the song's success will be adding more cowbell to the track.

"I gotta have more cowbell!" he pleads, then adds: "Guess what? I got a fever, and the only prescription is more cowbell!"

Will Ferrell is playing the bell, with his typical exaggerated physical humor, and when Dickinson tells him "really explore the studio space," hilarity breaks out.

Sternberg loves it.

He has it on DVD, he has the clip on his computer, his sons have More Cowbell T-shirts. One of Sternberg's first acts was asking entertainment director John Franzone if he could get the clip, and when members of Franzone's staff started quoting it, they felt they had a hit waiting to happen. By Friday, the Ray Team spirit squad and some fans were clanging bells along with the video.

"The clip is drop-dead funny," Sternberg said. "It gets funnier and funnier each time. We'll bring in other bits, but I'm hoping this one becomes our - and the fans' - signature." [SP times]

that sound you hear is me smashing my head against the desk

If he signs with the Yankees, [Carlos] Pena would likely be used primarily as a defensive replacement at first base and perhaps an occasional starter. His presence would mean less time at first base for Jason Giambi, who has looked sluggish in the field. Giambi, though, has pointed out that he hits better when he plays the field; last year, he batted .319 when playing first base, .209 while DH.

It isn't yet clear how much playing time Pena would get with the Yankees, but his signing could impact a couple players even beyond Giambi. Presumably, Bernie Williams could lose some time at DH if Giambi assumes that role, and Andy Phillips' chances to gain playing time could be further hindered.
[newsday]

poor andy.

Labels: yanquis

what she said!

and i thought stuff like "jason varitek bulge" was disturbing

fun with stat counter:
search.yahoo.com/search?p=Michael kay girlfriend&prssweb=Search&ei=UTF-8&pstart=1&fr=FP-tab-web-t&b=31

from the post: "With Jason Giambi at DH yesterday, Torre went with veteran Miguel Cairo over Phillips at first base, though he often said in spring training he was going to use Phillips to spell Giambi. Instead, he went with Cairo's experience and speed."

experience trumps deservingness? cairo is the new leiter!

Labels: yanquis

quote of the day

"He had no idea what someone meant when they asked if he, too, was part of the pregame goofiness, a dumb question given that Mussina's idea of goofy is completing a crossword puzzle in less than an hour." -- lisa olson

Labels: quote of, things that are funny

because

a game without a billion runners left on and questionable pen choices is like a day without sunshine. welcome back, yankee baseball!

so close yet so far

Randy Johnson gets the start Monday, Mike Mussina goes Tuesday, Chien-Ming Wang is third, followed by Shawn Chacon. Jaret Wright is the fifth starter, and will begin the season in the bullpen, assuming he doesn't fall into a sinkhole or suffer some other freak accident. [lisa olson]

Labels: yanquis