soft hands.

of course you were kidding, mex.

"Women are not part of the team," [Keith Hernandez] said. "A ball team is twenty-five guys with one thing on their minds, which is baseball. Then there are twenty-five wives and girlfriends who have nothing in common. It takes a very special woman to be married to an athlete. She has to be enormously secure within herself, and not many women are. I've been called a misogynist for this but it's what I believe." [from roger angell's a pitcher's story: innings with david cone]

for any enterprising youtubers out there, the following conversation takes place during the bottom of the second immediately after piazza's home run.

keith hernandez [watching the padres congratulate piazza on his home run]: who's the GIRL in the dugout? with the long hair? what's going on here?! you've gotta be kidding me!
gary cohen: she's excited!
hernandez: only... only player personnel in the dugout!
cohen: ...got a fistbump and everything!
hernandez: hanging slider! ...we'll get back to her, i'm not through with her... hanging slider over the middle, and you just can't do that to mike, and that's just a bomb. [more talk about piazza, camera wanders back to woman in the dugout] i thought she was morganna for a minute, but she wasn't blonde.
cohen: i wonder if she's something in connection with military night here?
hernandez: she's with the training staff, we understand. uhhhmm.
cohen: i did not know that there was a woman trainer in the major leagues.
hernandez: [disapproving noise] certain...
cohen: [hastily interrupting] that's a pretty progressive step if it's true.
hernandez: that's...well... i won't say that women belong in the kitchen but they don't belong in the dugout!
cohen: i don't think you should say that. [laughing] there's only trouble brewing if you say that, you know.
hernandez: i'm only teasing!
cohen: he's kidding!
hernandez: i love you gals out there! always have!
cohen: i'm telling your wife!
[more laughter]
cohen: her name is kelly calabrese, she is a massage therapist for the san diego padres, so there you go.
hernandez: only in california! i... i just. i can't believe it. i..i.. you think you've seen everything... and, you know, there's always something new.
cohen: the world keeps changing, my friend.
hernandez: [pauses and sighs]

[bottom of the fifth ]

cohen: and there's another shot of kelly calabrese, massage therapist for the padres who we were talking about earlier....
hernandez: i know i made some strong statements, that she doesn't belong in the dugout, and i stand by those statements... i think this is a man's game, and it just gets in the way, and i feel very strongly about it. and if anybody out there thinks that when i made the comment about women being in the kitchen,* takes it seriously... get a sense of humor.

*actually keith, it wasn't that, it was EVERYTHING ELSE.

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9:34 AM :: ::
  • accusing the offendee of lacking a sense of humor... the incredibly cogent and unaswerable defense of assholes, louts and ignorami everywhere.

    By Blogger June, at 3:29 PM   <$BlogItemControl$>
  • what a fucking asshole. the kitchen comment isn't even the worst of it.

    get your head out of the 18th century, buddy.

    By Blogger Shannon, at 4:32 PM   <$BlogItemControl$>
  • i thought they did an okay job trying to turn it into something funny with the he's kidding/i love you gals/ha ha ha stuff, they should have just dropped it right there.

    By Blogger lupe_velez, at 5:26 PM   <$BlogItemControl$>
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