qotd

"i had a nice career. [pause] i wish i could remember it." - david cone

"that was a good call by angel hernendez." - opus michael kay

Labels: quote of, things that are funny

weeping with laughter you guys

I ....... am writing...... really.... really........ fucking..... slowly....... as..... a .... public ... service..... to ...... you..... all..... so..... that... you might.... get .... used ..... to ...... this..... excru.... ciating..... pace...... in time...... for....... tonight's......... Orioles...... starter....... Steve.... fucking..... slow-...... ass..... Trachsel.

moar at drunk jays fans!

Labels: bogosphere, things that are funny

immature yankees fans everywhere: rejoice!

latroy hawkins has given up your precioussssss.

Labels: rolleyes

qotd

"every time robbie swings and misses a little part of joe morgan dies." - kimmeh

Labels: quote of

my feelings about how a baseball player should wear his work clothes (see here) are well known and patiently tolerated by my circle of trust friends. i disapprove highly of droopy jammie bottoms in the workplace, and it's nice to have my outrage validated by mr jesse barfield:

What ever happened to the fashion police in baseball? Have you guys seen these uniforms some of these guys are wearing today? Some of them look like the old Negro League uniforms. My uncle played for the Cincinnati Clowns and I have photos of his team. Those were some ugly, baggy uniforms. So, have we gone retro? Listen, can you believe that some of the guys have their uniform pants made like their street jeans? Come on now! Let's get out of the music videos and on to the field.

Some of you may think I am joking, but I am serious. Let's keep the integrity of the game. Take it from me, I love to style - my family calls me the Style Master - but it's with taste and off the field. What's funny is you may think these guys are trying to cover up bad bodies, but they're not. Most of these guys have sculpted bodies under all that fabric. Take it from me, they better enjoy having a young, athletic body while they can because time does take it's toll.

Can the baggy uniforms be the reason that female attendance has gone down a bit? Chicks may dig the long ball, but if the uniform isn't fitting, in the baseball stands, the chicks ain't sitting.

[link snatched from btf, because i'm lazy]

Labels: things that are annoying, things that are funny, why yes i am objectifying you

bothersome crap du jour

dear yankee stadium crowd,

paul o'neill's been retired for a hundred years. it's about time someone took 21. get over it already.

i hate some of you people so much sometimes,
lupe


***


dear john flaherty,

cut your hair!

sincerely
the concerned women of the tri-state area

Labels: hmph, stfu, things that are annoying

my favorite blog of the minute, drunk jays fans, has very thoughtfully done baseball going people a great service by putting together a guide to the wave that i demand everyone read. thank you.

Labels: the wave? fuck you

three of my favorite things on the planet, together!

baseball, bacon (flavor anyway), and potatoes:


(lifted from the OFFICIAL bacon salt blog)

*homer simpson drool*

Labels: nom nom nom, squee

kb rules everything around me

I don't know what it is about Fridays that makes this team just...fall apart, but I (as well as the rest of my Season Ticket Crew) do know that they will win tomorrow in kick-ass fashion. Because tomorrow, the sun will shine dazzingly, Andy Pettitte will throw a perfect game (with one arm tied behind his back, his self-prescribed penance for HGH usage), and Alex Rodriguez, needing a homer for the cycle, will end the game with a walk-off grand slam, then round the bases atop a golden unicorn named Allegra, as Jesus and the ghosts of popes past share a high-five out in Monument Park, and declare how awesome it was that they decided on coming to the game over seeing Wicked for the fifth time, and hey, why not head to Stan's for a celebratory shot? And so inspiring will be the end result, that Steve Perry and the other members of Journey will decide to put their long-standing differences aside and reunite, just so they can write a stadium-anthem-quality song that totally captures the greatness that was the Yankees vs the Devil Rays on April 5, 2008.

know what doesn't rule everything around me? sandra lee. seriously. i want to know who saw her food network demo and thought, "THIS NEEDS TO BE ON THE AIR!" because whoever's responsible needs to be drawn and quartered. in happier news, she HAS inspired 4 pages of some of the greatest amazon.com tags in the history of this or any other times.

oldie but goodie qutd

shannon: hey what are these things called where the player crosses home plate? it's been so long i forget
me: those are runs, miss. don't feel bad, i can't remember what they call that thing that happens when the yankees end up with more runs than the other team
kimmeh: lupe, those are called dreams.

Labels: quote of