snortle

cute take on last night's debacle found at the YES boards:

Boston fan: Dude, Gary Sheffield is about to be right in front of us

Boston friend: Do you see how smooth his skin is? What do you think he uses?

Boston fan: I don't know but I bet you he moisturizes. I'm gonna ask him. Here he comes. (Reaching over fence). Hey Gary, how do you get such a smooth shave? Let me feel. (Reaching over to rub Gary's face.) Man that's smooth.

Gary: (Reaching over the wall with ball in glove.) I know man. You gotta stay smooth in pinstripes brother. Look at yours, I can feel stubble through my glove. (Rubbing glove on Dirtbag's face.) Darn, I got so excited about skin care that I forgot I gotta get this ball to the infield. Hold on. I'll be right back. (Gary turns to hurl the ball back towards second.)

Boston friend to Gary as Sheff comes flying back: Gary, I use an electric, you think that will work out.

Gary: (Now obviously enraged) Man, electric razors make me so mad I could go crazy. You'll never get that big league look without a razor. And you can't skimp on the gel brother. That's the key.

Boston fan in Gap sweatshirt: (Hurls beer in disgust) Man, I've been using cream all this time. Sorry, Gary no pun intended with the word "cream"

Gary: No offense taken partner. I knew what you meant.

Two women seated right next to them: Uhh girl, all this man talk is stupid. Lets get out of here.

Security guard flies in between: Don't mean to interrupt guys but I heard your conversation and had to get in on it. Gary, I'm curious on your opinion on waxing. I say it's not just for women anymore.

Assorted Yankee players arrive on the scene: Gary, we've been trying to get your secrets for skin care for years. We're not going to miss out on this.

Umpires and cops arrive: Guys, we agree that male grooming is a very important topic in this day and age but we gotta get this game on.

Gary: No problem. You know how I am. Whenever there's a fellow man in need of some tips, I'll be there for them. Proper grooming unites us all. Later guys, gotta go play.