a brian roberts gem from a short SI interview:

If I were commissioner for a day, I would ...

... go back to a balanced schedule. It's not fun to face the Red Sox and the Yankees 18 times a year. We're not exactly on a level playing field. They can go over the salary cap and pay the tax. We should play more teams outside our division. It would mean more travel, but it would be worth it for a better chance at the playoffs.

excuse me, brian? i can see not liking playing the yankees, since the yankees whomp youall every time out (unless i happen to be in the hizzouse, in which case the yankees forget how to play baseball), but you mean you weren't having fun beating on the red sox 10 out of 19 times, which is a lot better than most other teams fared?

and excuse me again, brian, but are you crying small market? oh, poor orioles. it must be terrible, playing in a gorgeous new ballpark that's always packed, and having to play alongside nobodies like javy lopez, sammy sosa, miguel tejada, and rafael palmeiro. please. you ain't in kansas city, sugar.

but seriously, it must be miserable playing for a thieving douchebag like peter angelos. shame he hasn't spent some of that flow on pitching, or rather, shame he didn't spend it on mussina when he had the chance:

...Mussina only landed an $88.5 million deal because the O's let him become a free agent, after spending two years botching his contract negotiations. This was not Reggie Jackson, announcing that he intended to ditch Mobtown at the first chance. Mussina declared over and over that he hoped to spend his career in one uniform. He swore off bright lights and big cities and told everyone he wanted to play near his Montoursville, Pa., home. The Orioles had as much leverage as a team could hope to get on an All-Star pitcher.

But nobody has enough leverage to make an All-Star pitcher beg, and that's what Angelos wants to see in contract negotiations. Mussina got the same treatment as Rafael Palmeiro: a lowball offer with millions deferred , asking the player to ignore both his real market value and his common sense. Orioles spokesperson Bill Stetka now refers to this as a "fair and generous offer"; Mussina, like Palmeiro before him, seems to have taken it as an insult. Rather than smoothing things over, Angelos promptly went to the papers, declaring that he would not overspend for his ace pitcher's services.

Compare this with Yankees owner George Steinbrenner, who ardently courted Mussina as soon as he got the chance. Yankees officials and players besieged Mussina with phone calls, going out of their way to show the pitcher he could be happy in the Bronx. Legendary tyrant though he is, Steinbrenner understands that his players are what matters. Every time Clemens flares his nostrils and pads his stats or Derek Jeter sashays to the plate with the game on the line, their glory is their owner's glory too. Angelos was asking Mussina to be a dutiful lackey; Steinbrenner was inviting him to be part of a glorious show.

...The Warehouse, of course, says it was all about the money. This is both stupid and untrue. The deal-breaking obstacle, the deferred money, was completely unnecessary. The theory is that the O's need to hold back some payroll money now, then give it out later when they've stripped down to a younger, cheaper team. But they already are a younger, cheaper team. They dumped their overpaid veterans at the end of July and replaced them with minor-league promotees. There was no financial reason to hold back Mussina's money.

But Angelos insisted on saving the money anyway, and in so doing he lost his team. Two or three years ago, the question was whether the O's would chase one last pennant before Cal Ripken Jr. retires. Now the question is whether they'll chase a pennant before Ripken is in the Hall of Fame. And the answer is, almost certainly not.

There is a certain despairing giddiness about the whole thing: This, this, is rock bottom. It's over. There isn't anyone left for Angelos to drive away. Oh, Eddie Murray, maybe, and someday Jerry Hairston. But beyond that, what? Chuck McElroy? Jeff Conine? Jim Hunter? No, the owner has fulfilled his dream. He is surrounded--on the field, on the airwaves, in the Warehouse--by nothing but youths, mediocrities, and yes-men. In all of Birdland, no one outshines Mr. Angelos. Even if that means no one shines at all.

maybe you ought to be crying shitty ownership, instead. better yet, pipe down and do what you're paid to do: be scrappy, steal some bases and make that hideous uniform look pretty.