warning: no baseball content whatsoever

but i'm so excited i have to tell everyone:

three o'clock christmas morning, fast asleep. no, wait. everso rudely awoken by my brother in the next room, screaming obscenities at his ex/not-ex (who is as psychotic as she is beautiful) on the phone. i fumble out of bed, get decent, and sleepily picture myself ripping the phone from his hands, telling her to stay away from him or i'm going to break her fucking kneecaps, and hurling said phone out the window. but by the time i pull some clothes on he's off the phone and down the stairs relating the latest to my parents. at the top of his lungs. so i stumble down the stairs to join in the fun and mumble something about waking me up and you need to break up with her. he says we ARE broken up, and i says you KNOW what i meant. i rub my eyes and i swear i hear him say something about hawaii, and i'm still on my anti-her roll and am all i TOLD you it was a bad idea to take her, and he's all NO, i'm asking you if YOU want to go. so i ask when, and he says the 30th through the 5th, and i say yeah yeah, okay and wander back up to bed.

so christmas morning he's on the phone with travelocity trying to change her ticket to my name and add one on for my baby brother. the place is being bitchy and he's in a bad mood, again, because he has to call delta now, and something dawns on me, and i'm all, when is this trip again? and he says thursday. THURSDAY.

i am wiiiiiiide awake now and going to hawaii thursday and have no idea where any of my warm-weather clothes are and no fucking way am i wearing a bathing suit i don't care if it's hawaii and god i haven't been on a plane since i was 16 and i can't find my fucking laptop charger thing and i have to talk to my boss about carrying over those personal days so i can save precious vacation days and my ipod is broken and i wonder if we can track down austen because i miss him and where am i going to get 1657897687687 spf sunscreen in new jersey in fucking december?

i'm kinda internally flipping out in an un-me worrywart feminine fashion and yet, who cares? i'm going away! i'll probably end up taking five days worth of clean underwear, a new ipod, and fuck the rest, i'll worry about it when i get there. hawaii hawaii hawaii!