BREAKING NEWS
12.18.2004
God To Professional Athletes: ‘Please Stop Pointing At Me’
HEAVEN--In an unusual and unprecedented move, God, Creator of the Universe, publicly demanded that professional athletes stop pointing at him when they score a touchdown, hit a home run, dunk a basketball, or perform other athletic feats. God explained that pointing is rude and that a deity like himself deserves better treatment. “Please, please stop pointing at me,” God said. “Do you know how rude that is? Jesus, every time someone does something on the field they have to stop and stick their little fingers in my face. It’s nice that you're thinking of me, but I honestly couldn’t care less what you do on the field of play. Unlike your average sports fan, I’m not that easy to impress.” [the brushback]
