i am going to vomit now

you have to be fucking kidding me. rally towels? does he think the rally towels at pro player are the reason the marlins won last year? rally towels? are we in fucking anaheim? rally towels, for a team that's first in its division with the best record in the american league?

the halfwits that do the wave are mortifying enough. DO YOU WANT TO PUT RALLY TOWELS INTO THEIR A.D.D. ADDLED HANDS?

Pumped and smug with girlie-man confidence, Steinbrenner actually thinks his juvenile hijinks inspired the boys. He filled the scoreboards with cliches, piped in corny music and made sure every player knew that shadow over the Stadium wasn't a blimp, but a dude who didn't take kindly to being embarrassed. Now his handlers say he has ordered some 50,000 rally towels, personally designed by The Boss himself, just in case the Yankees and their fans need some props to get them through these next few weeks. [ny daily news]

nevermind that that's just asking for people to be strangled. which might not be an entirely terrible thing.