disgusting part 2.

see, i have a whole positive vibes dissertation going but i'm not feeling it right now.

instead, you may read my imaginary yankees-on-the-plane-to-japan diary entry, so thoughtfully brought to my attention by miss alex. i forgot i'd ever written it:


jason giambi, 9:32 pm: just left chicago... me and sheff are gonna to steal tony clark's widescreen laptop later for a pornfest. can't wait to see that lesbian MILF site almonte was talking about at batting practice the other day!
gary sheffield, 9:36 pm: pudge was right, these yanni mp3s are awesome! he's got pretty good taste in music, for a gay dude. not that there's anything wrong with that. i hope clark falls asleep soon.
hideki matsui, 10:03 pm: will someone please tell lofton that just because i'm asian doesn't mean i think jackie chan is funny?
kevin brown, 10:11 pm: no alcohol my ASS. i poured everclear in an empty hand sanitizer bottle and snuck it on the plane.
mike mussina, 10:12 pm: THIS BOOK [the da vinci code] ASFSDGH@^&#$ING SUCKS
tony clark, 10:12 pm: bubba's letting me use his dell - my brand new apple disappeared! my wife's gonna kill me.
derek jeter, 10:13pm: skip just put a few good men on again. i didnt think he was serious when he said he was going to watch it over and over. this is gonna be like chinese water torture.
alex rodriguez, 10:18 pm: here comes monahan with the gatorade again. he said if i don't drink more he's going to stick an iv in me. he's already got willie randolph hooked up. what a freak.
hideki matsui, 10:50pm: NO KENNY LOFTON I DON'T WANT TO WATCH RUSH HOUR 2
kevin brown, 11:07 pm: shit, i hope that was everclear. oh well. it's all alcohol, right?


just a little comic relief for those of us not keen on tonight's tragicomedy. but what do i know, i turned it off when kevin millar high-fiving john kerry made my stomach turn. this baseball obsession's interfered with most other aspects of my life, i'd like to at least keep my voting conscience unsullied.

Labels: yanquis