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soft hands.

thx mientajhraqowhraqwicz

2.27.2005
i saw the headline and flinched a little, half-expecting to find below it some butchered backhanded compliments scattered about yet another writer's own hatey-agenda driven words. color me shocked when i realized it was mostly mientadfh dougie shedding some thoughtful light on the golden boy everyone loves to loathe.

Mient.kiewicz refused to discuss his true feelings about A-Rod with either his teammates or the media at the time, mainly because they would've gone counter to his angry Boston teammates. That wouldn't go over too well with the fellas. So in the spirit of clubhouse harmony, he kept them to himself. Until the other day.

You see, Mientkiewicz likes the guy and thinks he's been getting a bum rap from Boston.

"I know what he's like inside," he said inside the locker room of his new team, the Mets. "He'll always be a friend of mine."

[newsday]



i was tempted to quote it all. do read the whole thing. props, minky. that took balls*.








*BA DUM CHH!
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"[Bleep] the agent," Steinbrenner told a handful of stunned reporters before the elevator doors closed at Legends Field. "He's no good. But I want Matsui."


i want to write something here but i'm too busy trying not to die from laughing.
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2.26.2005
Slooze, you smarmy bitch!


- one
- two

some blohard sox fan you are... don't think i haven't seen you giving all those yankee boys the old eye, you ambitious hag.
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mean girls

2.25.2005
so i primarily vent my baseball obsession through a message board full of females, and yeah, sometimes i we get kinda catty. from an old thread - on seeing a photo of the not-yet-mrs-johnny-damon:

me: someone needs to inform the soon to be mrs damon that her boob's about to make a run for it
june: it's late to go meet Cynthia Rodriguez' at the annual Implant Reunion

cackle!
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cymbals crash

The Japanese press corps have been constantly inquiring about Matsui's situation, and when one reporter asked Jeter about Matsui yesterday, the Yankee captain shouted across the clubhouse, "Matsui, do you want to stay with us? How much do you want?" Matsui joked, through his interpreter, "$400 million, one year." [daily news]
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found this little gem while perusing nyyfans:

The arena is in downtown Boston, the heart of Red Sox Nation. There couldn't be a bigger insult than to name it after the captain of the hated New York Yankees.

But that's just what Manhattan lawyer Kerry Konrad aims to do next Tuesday after his $2,325 bid won an eBay auction giving him the one-day naming rights to the FleetCenter.

Konrad's proposed name: the Derek Jeter Center, after the Yankee shortstop.

His winning bid threw the FleetCenter brass into a dilemma. "I told him, 'I don't think we can approve that name,"' arena spokesman Jim Delaney said.

He said he would talk it over Friday with FleetCenter president Richard Krezwick and a decision would be made by the end of the day. Arena officials have reserved the right to approve or reject any winning bid.

The FleetCenter is home to the Boston Celtics and Boston Bruins. The name became obsolete after Bank of America acquired FleetBoston Financial last year and the Charlotte, N.C., banking giant opted not to retain the naming rights.

While the arena's owner, Delaware North Cos., searches for a new long-term partner, it has been offering one-day naming rights on eBay and donating the proceeds to charity. Past winners have included an online casino and a California man who named it for his wife as a Valentine's Day present. The names are posted on signs around the arena and on fleetcenter.com

Konrad, a Harvard alum, had the high bid for the March 1 naming rights. His wife, Nina Webb, said it was part of a 20-year college rivalry with some Boston buddies.

Delaney said Konrad has been understanding about their predicament, even suggesting that if his Boston friends match his winning bid, they can all settle on a 24-hour name for the arena.

"That name may not be as bad as A-Rod," Delaney said, referring to Yankee third baseman Alex Rodriquez, "but it's still considered obscene."


for ideas for an alternative name, mr. konrad might want to direct his attention to a thread made by the nyyfans owner before the bidding ended. some of my favorite suggestions:

- The Mel Hall
- The Steinbrenner Center
- Boston Fleet Center of Anaheim
- The Thank Gawd for Ground Rule Doubles Dome
- Yankee Stadium North
- The "A-Rod is a True Yankee" Center
- The House That Ruth Bought
- The Wellesley Socialist League
- The Eric Van School for the Common Man
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ladies and gentleman......... now batting..........num-bah two....derek.....jeet-ah. shortstop.

The Voice. Even over the telephone, it is unmistakable.

No one who has ever set so much as a foot inside Yankee Stadium over the last half-century can fail to recognize Bob Sheppard's voice. It is so infused with authority that Mr. Sheppard could read Eminem lyrics aloud and make them sound like Magna Carta.

... the Voice is remarkably undented by time. Sportswriters have stretched themselves sore reaching for adjectives to describe it. Stately, august, classic, silken, dignified, elegant, mellifluous, sonorous, velvety and soothing form but a partial list. All those words still apply, especially in this age of screaming sports announcers who make the old Crazy Eddie pitchman sound sedate. [new york times]


i hate to think of what the stadium will be like without him, someday. i do believe i'll remember him more fondly than many players, he's such an integral part of the fabric of the place.
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i don't know why i love you like i do

2.24.2005
i don't know why, but i do.

bernie on the "true yankee" crap:

"You have probably one of the greatest Yankees that ever wore this uniform, and that's Cap (Don Mattingly), and who would argue that he's not a true Yankee?" Williams said. "Still, he didn't win a World Series here. I just don't think that's an accurate statement."
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2.22.2005
fantasy baseball is already making me want to break out in hives and we haven't even fucking drafted yet.
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word to your mother

everyone ought to take a few minutes to read karen's cute interview with her mom on the upcoming season. an excerpt:

KB: And Hideki?
Mom: I have a feeling he’s going to be Most Valuable Player. Doesn’t he do first base?
KB: Left field.
Mom: OK. He’s a hustler, from what I’ve seen. They’re not prejudiced against him, are they?
KB: For being Japanese?
Mom: Well, you know how things are in a clique.
KB: As long as he hits and does his job, I think they’ll like him just fine.
Mom: Good. That's not nice to leave him out.



i love reading about moms and baseball. one of my favorite things about captain intangibles is that he's a big old momma's boy. you read all over the place about fathers and sons, but rare are murmurings about mothers and sons, mothers and daughters. i'm not whining - guys play the game, run the game, write about the game. what's a girl gonna do, at least til i have a team in my manicured clutches? anyway, for me, my father taught me how to play the game, but my mother taught me to love it.
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AVAST!

this is the first time i've ever read a mike lupica column and found myself nodding in agreement. maybe it's the pirates of the caribbean reference, maybe it's that he sounds sensible for a change... all in all i hope he goes back to churning out vitriolic nonsense soonish, 'cause my skin is crawling, savvy?

A-Rod is starting to feel the pressure the way Peyton Manning is in football. It doesn't matter how great either one of them is, and they are as great as anybody could ever be in their two sports, or how much money they make. And nobody in their respective sports makes more money. They know they better get a ring, or else. The Red Sox can't attack A-Rod's credentials as a player. So they attack him at what they consider his weakest point:

No ring, no stripes, no Yankee. Not a real Yankee, anyway.

But once you go down this road, where do you stop? Don Mattingly never played a World Series. So what's the deal with Donnie Baseball - a real Yankee with a dispensation? Dave Righetti pitched a no-hitter and then went to the bullpen because that's what he thought a real Yankee should do. He played in a Yankee World Series, but didn't win. Did Righetti ever officially earn his stripes?

...Cone earned his pinstripes forever, and so we thought, when he won Game 3 of the 1996 World Series against the Braves, at a time when the Yankees had lost the first two games of that Series at home. Later on, he came back and pitched like a star for the Yankees after suffering an aneurysm in his pitching shoulder.

Except that Coney then made the tragic Yankee mistake of finishing his career playing for the following two teams:

1) Red Sox.
2) Mets.

At which point you imagined his old Yankee jersey hanging in a locker someplace and those pinstripes he had earned so valiantly falling off as if they were being eaten by moths.

You can see how tricky this whole thing is. Maybe it's not as simple as the Red Sox or A-Rod seem to believe. Maybe it's like "Pirates of the Caribbean." There's no real code to being a real Yankee. It's just more like guidelines. [the daily news]
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just what i like to hear at 8 in the morning. from the daily news:

PORT ST. LUCIE - Pedro Martinez smiled and waved to fans who cheered him as he walked toward the clubhouse from his car yesterday morning. But when one aggressive heckler blurted, "Who's your daddy," Martinez wasn't amused and grabbed his crotch.
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THANK YOU MURRAY CHASS

2.20.2005
In this new version of "Get the good guy," the Red Sox are blameless. One player, Trot Nixon, ignited the game with negative comments about Rodriguez last week and a torrent of teammates have followed. But the teammates' comments have not been unsolicited. They were at the urging of reporters eager to inflame the game to incendiary levels. They were all but handed a script.

Athletes have long accused reporters of creating stories, and, sadly, this is one of those instances. It has become one of the most distasteful instances I have witnessed in 45 years of covering baseball.

It's not enough that Larry Lucchino, the Red Sox' chief executive, calls the Yankees the Evil Empire or that John Henry, the principal owner, criticizes the Yankees for spending ungodly amounts of money on their payroll. Or that the Red Sox players verbally attacked Rodriguez for slapping the ball out of Bronson Arroyo's hand in the league championship series.

These were not invented situations. But the current pile-on-A-Rod is different. Every player who spoke with reporters last week was asked what they thought of Rodriguez, whether they agreed with what Nixon said. Extended the invitation, some players replied with negative comments, but most of what they said in response to the invitations was far less severe than the resulting articles reflected. [new york times]


edit: i don't think anyone who opened their mouth is wholly blameless. still, i'm with murray in the belief that this is an icky display of the sports media's penchant for choosing a petty topic and creating a soap opera out of it.
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separated at birth?






yes, i think so.

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2.19.2005
pssst, matty, i don't think you're supposed to say nice things.

But Matt Mantei , another member of the Boston bullpen, said -- is this allowed? -- positive things about Rodriguez on Saturday.

``I've played with him in A-ball and a couple of years later I saw him again, and I don't think he remembered who I was because he was such a big timer by then,'' Mantei said. ``But I like A-Rod. I think he's a nice guy. He does a lot of good things for the community and children and stuff like that, and I think that's pretty impressive, to do what he does. So I have nothing against A-Rod.''[yahoo sports]



oh and jeter, you sly bitch:

Asked which Red Sox he didn't get along with, Jeter smiled.

``I like them all,'' he said.


ha!

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:D

Wells said he offered up his services to the Yankees and sounded stunned they didn't want him back. Perhaps all that beer he brags about consuming has begun to wipe away his memory — or conscience. So as a reminder, Dave, these were your last two acts as a Yankee employee:

1. Pulling out of Game 5 of the 2003 World Series after one inning with a bad back, a day after bragging you did not have to work out like Roger Clemens and Andy Pettitte.

2. Reneging on a handshake deal to return to the Yankees to sign for more money with the Padres.

Those acts cost the Yankees probably one and possibly two World Series titles, so, Dave, you cannot be exactly shocked if the folks at Legends Fields do not have open arms for you.

You also told reporters Thursday that Brian Cashman informed you the team wanted to inject youth into the rotation then added Randy Johnson. Besides skirting the issue that in the same timeframe they had to decide upon you, the Yanks did sign two 29-year-old free agents (Carl Pavano and Jaret Wright), you kind of miss the point on Johnson, as well. He is slightly better than you, Dave, in case you didn't notice.

And, Dave, I just love how you parsed Alex Rodriguez's words, faulting him for saying, " 'we' in his [Yankee] introductory press conference, like he's won three or four rings, when he hasn't. And that kind of disturbed me because I would never put myself in a situation [like that]."

No, Dave, you always have been very careful with your words. Like that time when you got two teeth knocked out by a guy 9 inches smaller than you at 4 a.m. in an Upper East Side diner. You memorably called 911 and slurred to them, "I just got offended" then described your assailant as "a [bleeping] Italian, little squatty-body [bleep]." Man, you were always class around here, Dave. And by the way, you only have one World Series ring as a Yankee yourself, not three or four.

Here is what I know about Rodriguez: He won't end up on a police blotter like you did, Dave, just weeks after initially signing with the Yanks. He will never be out of shape, though he might stupidly brag about his workouts. He will care deeply about winning and playing well every day, not wondering where the exit is on particularly humid, hungover days. [the post]
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i love you, bernabe williams

2.18.2005
a light moment from a jack curry piece on bernie's recent trip to colombia as a cultural ambassador:

The next morning, Williams was as comfortable in the armored vehicle as he would be on his own couch. As Sexton and embassy officials joked about how much someone's boss would pay for ransom if they were kidnapped, Williams predicted what George Steinbrenner, the principal owner of the Yankees and ultimate boss, might do.

"George would say, 'Darn it, we should have signed Beltran.'"
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:)

Like mechanics working on their expensive race cars, Torre and his lieutenants watched the five Yankee starters work in unison, envisioning how rich the summer could be.

There was Johnson and his eel-like limbs, whipping fastball after fastball into Posada's glove. Even when he wasn't trying, the Unit could make the ball look small and dangerous. Next to him was Brown, still twisting and turning and grunting before every fastball.

Pavano, who bears an eerie resemblance to Andy Pettitte, worked next to the stoic Wright, while Mussina was all but ignored on the far end of the bullpen, toying with his first knuckle-curves of camp.[the bergen record]

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He was not wearing an "I Hate Alex Rodriguez" undershirt, but since those appear to be standard-issue items these days in Red Sox camp, David Wells figured he might as well jump into the act.

... "I remember he used the word 'we' about the Yankees, like he's won three or four rings with them," said Wells, who wears a 1998 Yankees World Series ring. "That kind of disturbed me. He shouldn't put himself in that category, because you've got to earn it."


shut up, fatty. you've de-earned It, and the right to talk about It, even though i'm of the belief It is a hokey pile of crap that sells Yankeeographies.

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ENOUGH

2.17.2005



in the immortal, out-of-context words of aaron boone, this is just stupid. YOU'RE ALL GROUNDED.
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i could die

2.16.2005


you big beautiful nerd, you.
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here we go

In a detailed examination of documents that were neither obtained nor actually exist, it appears the word sunny has been eliminated from Randy Johnson's deal, the word humility stricken from the contract of Mike Mussina and the word Zen cut from Kevin Brown's agreement.


and in a detailed examination of documents that were neither obtained or actually exist, it appears the word cunty is still safely nestled in every paragraph of selena roberts' contract.

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2.15.2005
HAPPY PITCHERS AND CATCHERS!

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SO CLOSE YET SO FAR

2.14.2005
happy valentine's day!

the onion has some handy coupons for ya, and the love doctor is In!
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wait a minute

2.13.2005
i started reading an article on yahoo sports on the canseco thing and couldn't get past the first sentence:

As Terrell Owens told us early this fall, "If it looks like a rat and smells like a rat, by golly, it is a rat." There is little doubt that Jose Canseco is a rat.


sooooooooo by using the TO quote is the writer by association agreeing with owens' allegation that jeff garcia is gay? i'd like to know, it'd be useful ammo for heckling my browns loving father.
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the needle and the damage done

2.11.2005
i had a smarmy idea for a giambi press conference drinking game but i'm not feeling mean spirited right now. the new york media seems to have that area pretty well covered.


THere was a moment yesterday when Jason Giambi looked as if he might cry. He had not yet taken a question from a room full of reporters at Yankee Stadium, and he seemed to be sincerely sorry for the steroid controversy that engulfs him.

"I feel I let down the fans, I feel I let down the media, I feel I let down the Yankees, and not only the Yankees, but my teammates," Giambi said, and he turned to look into the eyes of Manager Joe Torre, who was sitting on a folding chair next to him.

Giambi could have been a child finally summoning the courage to tell the truth to his father. But he kept his composure, and continued. "I accept full responsibility for that, and I'm sorry," he said.

What he did not fully say, however, was what he was sorry for. [new york times]


huh?

i understand the media-tastic allure of the prospect of the man finally playing the humbled fallen hero who movingly relays his sad tumble from the pedestal, a kitten in one hand and an orphan in the other, lower lip a-tremble and eyes filled with years worth of unshed tears for the damage he's done to himself and the reputation of the game he professes to love. what i don't understand is: what did they realistically expect? why act self-righteously shocked and vilify him for speaking exactly as the whole world expected he was going to? we all know, we can all read between the lines. of goddamn course i'm not thrilled with the giambi situation as a whole, but a man whose hands are legally bound took a baby step nearer making things right. not with me. i don't matter. with his teammates and with himself.

unfortunately, only tim marchman seemed to be on my wavelength:

The accounts Giambi has to settle are with his own conscience and his fellow athletes - not with you, not with me, and not with George Steinbrenner. These are not matters for press conferences, and it's unfortunate that the Yankees would trot the man out in a deeply silly attempt to pre-empt what will be a richly deserved storm of bad publicity for their organization.


oh yeah, george steinbrenner? you can kiss my ass on this one. you sought him out knowing the rumors and apparently the truth, thank you murray chass:

That [giambi used steroids] came as no surprise to the Yankees. Not that they will acknowledge it. General Manager Brian Cashman, in fact, said several times yesterday that the subject never came up three years ago when the Yankees were pursuing Giambi, a free-agent first baseman. But they had a strong clue that steroids played a part in Giambi's life.

A person with knowledge of the contract said that before they signed off on Giambi's seven-year, $120 million deal, the Yankees acquiesced to his request and removed all references to steroids from the guarantee language routinely included in contracts.

The Yankees were not innocents in this matter. They didn't say to themselves: Delete references to steroid use? Well, all right if you insist, but why would you want us to do that?

They wanted Giambi badly enough that they relinquished the right to suspend him or stop payment on the contract or terminate the contract or convert it into a nonguaranteed contract if he was found to use steroids. No other words were deleted from that paragraph of the contract, the person said.



you paid him the asinine amount of money he's getting, you can suffer too, you fucks.
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5 DAYS

2.09.2005
haw:
Super Bowls are so long they can be broken down into geologic eras: Cenozoic, Mesozoic, Paleozoic and Precambrian being the four quarters. Inevitably, as in life itself, the more resourceful mammals, that is to say, the Patriots, prevailed.


snortle:
Poor Nomar Garciaparra went over to greet his colleagues, Derek and A-Rod, and fans roared, "No-mah, don't go near those guys!" Nomar hugged them anyway. And look what happened to him, banished to the Cubs, the Flying Dutchmen of baseball, 97 years since winning a World Series and ticking.



and sigh:
Now it is time for one of my favorite sporting phrases: pitchers and catchers. [new york times]


these days can't go fast enough.
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8 days 4 hours 20 minutes and 28 seconds

2.07.2005
not that i feel this way myself (except for the ben affleck mention, and my loathing for him.. there's no one word that quite captures the visceral hatey feeling i get in my gut when i'm subjected to his smarmy face or his girly voice. fuck just don't do it.), but overhearing a rant like this would have tickled me senseless.

Angry Guy: Fuck New England. Fuck people from Boston. Fuck Pats' fans, fuck Red Sox fans, fuck Ben Affleck, fuck Denis Leary, fuck Harvard, fuck MIT, fuck Aerosmith, fuck the Pixies, fuck David Foster Wallace, fuck Boston Cream pie and clam chowder and Sam Adams, fuck Dr. Spock, fuck pahking your cah in Hahvahd Yahd, fuck Sacco and Vanzetti, fuck Paul Revere, fuck 'em all. --Borough Park
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exhumation time!

2.06.2005
Having already reacquired Mike Stanton this offseason, the Yankees are negotiating to sign another bullpen figure from their championship past in Ramiro Mendoza. Yankee GM Brian Cashman acknowledged discussions with Mendoza's agent, Fern Cuza, but would not characterize the likelihood of finalizing a deal. However, Mendoza never wanted to leave, and, even while in Boston, told Yankee players he hoped to come back some day.[ny post]


whither clay bellinger? ricky ledee?
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i love my job

2.02.2005
whenever a new patient comes into our facility, i have to do an assessment on their background - occupations, hobbies, habits, quirks, needs, interests, et cetera. half the time it's a pleasant, mutually enriching experience. the other half? especially with the population i work with (and before someone out there misreads this and brands me a brute, i will say unequivocally that there is no other group of people in this world i cherish being around more), it's an arduous pain in the ass. then there are those rare interviews that flow so easily it's like rediscovering a long lost friend, or meeting a simpatico someone you wish you could have been young and stupid with. no, really, and today was one of those days.

i'll call her mary, since saying mary in a nursing home is like calling "mom!" in a pre-school parking lot. mary's wheelchair bound, no more than 5 feet tall, maaaaybe 90 pounds. long, long silvery hair pinned up in haphazard loops and twists, brown eyes bright behind prescription glasses that remind me of the kind all the cool girls are wearing. her face is warm and inquisitive and it's obvious that in her heyday she was a stunner. still is, though she'll tell you those days are gone. she loves to talk - in fact, she's a master storyteller. you can nearly feel the exclamation points whizzing around your head.

so she's scheherazade-ing it up (husband number three, india, dumbwaiters, venice, brooklyn, her sister, sailplanes, husband number two, golf, china, sheep shearing) matchstick-thin arms waving around, and i notice a heavy gold charm bracelet flying through the air with them. i ask to see it, and she pauses her wild gesticulation long enough for me to take a closer peek. there's a tiny basketball, and a charm with a golf tournament inscription, and i comment that she must like sports (yeah yeah, i'm getting to the baseball part). her face lights up and she says "YES! do you?" i smile sort of shyly and the rest goes a little something like this

me: i love baseball...
mary [whacks the armrest of her chair for emphasis]: SO DO I! you know, i was engaged to a red sock!
me [nearly falls off the bed she's perched on]: what?! really? who?!
mary [laughing like a schoolgirl]: don kellett. i met him at the university of pennsylvania, he played on the team there. he wouldn't start a game without me. he'd watch me make my way through the stands, wait til i found my seat, and blow me a little kiss. everyone would look up at me and GLARE.
me: i bet all the girls hated you.
mary [cackles impishly]: and HOW.
me: so why didn't you marry him?
mary: well... we had a lot of fun. but...
me: ...he wasn't the marrying kind?
mary: he wasn't. listen, i was very young and innocent, maybe seventeen. once i went to go see him play in new york, and can you BELIEVE i was naive enough to go with him when he asked me back to his hotel room!? all he cared about was the nookie!
me [suppressing giggles]: that's a ballplayer for you. i don't think they've changed very much.
mary: HA! i BET they haven't!
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from a joel sherman article in today's post: "Steinbrenner confirmed reports he met last month with A-Rod to tell the slugger to shed the reverence, be himself and "be a leader just like Derek Jeter."

talk about a double-edged sword. SHUT UP, OLD MAN. HAVEN'T YOU DONE ENOUGH DAMAGE ALREADY?
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2weeks2weeks2weeks2weeks2

2.01.2005
It is foolish and childish, on the face of it, to affiliate ourselves with anything so insignificant and patently contrived and commercially exploitative as a professional sports team, and the amused superiority and icy scorn that the non-fan directs at the sports nut (I know this look -- I know it by heart) is understandable and almost unanswerable. Almost. What is left out of this calculation, it seems to me, is the business of caring -- caring deeply and passionately, really caring -- which is a capacity or an emotion that has almost gone out of our lives. And so it seems possible that we have come to a time when it no longer matters so much what the caring is about, how frail or foolish is the object of that concern, as long as the feeling itself can be saved. Naivete -- the infantile and ignoble joy that sends a grown man or woman to dancing and shouting with joy in the middle of the night over the haphazardous flight of a distant ball -- seems a small price to pay for such a gift. - roger angell
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